MADMAN'S HAVEN

17

Christmas eve, 1944

"He's the little boy that Santa Claus forgot, and goodness knows, he didn't want a lot. He sent a note for Santa, for some soldiers and a drum. It broke his little heart, when he found Santa hadn't come"

The gramophone spun the carol of Nat King Cole's voice as the snow slowly fell to cover the ground white on the outside. Walter laughed as he chewed his gingerbread man. His teeth were covered in brown dough, which made the traditional delicious Christmas treat look nasty and distasteful. I grinned as I inspected him carefully without his notice.

My father sat tightly beside him, helped him to construct the electric train track he just got from Santa Claus. My mother's humming was heard from the kitchen, and her perfect cadence with the music playing in the background, made me feel warm and safe in our already cosy home.

My knees were perfectly folded in the couch, and I used them as a table for my new craft book as I filled in the beautiful pictures with the colorful pencils.

The atmosphere was wonderful. Walter and I were happy, excited about our new toys and gifts. But yet we were so tired, forced our eyes to remain strong. The urge of staying up late to play with our new things was prevailing.

Just one more flower to color, I thought after finishing another template depicting the poisonous dedaleira flower.

I hummed with the music to company my mother, and even if she couldn't hear me, it felt like we were doing it together in the most perfect rhythn.

My hand started cramping from all the painting, and as I shook it back and forth to get my circulation back, I noticed a breaking sound from the kitchen distance. My heart skipped a beat from the surprising crash, but my brain forgot about it as fast as I was so caught up in continuing with my coloring.

"Alice, darling. Is everything okay out there?"

I heard my dad's voice in the back of my head as he asked my mother how it was going in the kitchen.

I was so prepared for a short, laughing answer about her just being clumsy, but my brain came to disturb my enjoyment as I noticed how she didn't answer him at all.

I looked up at my father who was patiently looking in the direction of the kitchen area. Still, there was no sound from my mother.

Father spoke again.

"Alice?" This time his voice was higher in tone.

The atmosphere already turned into something anxious and intent. Couldn't we just get one day without a seizure of sudden hallucinations?

"Robert?!" A call filled with fright was heard from the distance of the kitchen.

Father looked at me and Walter with a calming smile, tried his best to keep us from worrying or crying. I smiled back at him, I was old enough to handle these situations, and by now I was so used to it that there were no more tears to cry when she exploded into the madness.

"Walter, why don't you go sit with your sister? Go help her with coloring those beautiful pictures. I bet Beverly wants some help picking the colors," He said gently as he looked at me with reliance.

I had to be the mature one, because when my father needed to take care of my mother, I needed to be here for my little brother.

"Yeah, come here Walter! There are plenty of animals in this book too, your favourite is the lion, right? There's a lion in here," I had to convince my worried brother to come to the couch, otherwise he wouldn't stop being clingy on father.

His tiny body melt down beside me, and immediately I caught his attention with my artbook. I laid my arm around his skinny shoulder, and let his head rest on mine as we paged through the book together.

I tried my best to ignore the situation only a couple of feet away from us, but it was in my nature by now to keep my ears secretly open to listen to the torturing drama that was probably about to break out any mintute now.

(🎶 Silent Night - Nat King Cole)

The music was still playing in the background, and another bad memory for next year's celebration was created.

"Silent night, holy night. All is calm, all is bright. Round yon virgin, mother and child,"

The whole situation made the carol hilarious and ironic. Nothing about this was holy, nothing was calm or bright.

I wanted to throw up of tragedy.

The mumbles from the kitchen became louder, and my ears began to indicate my parent's words clearer.

In my own interruption, I tried to distract Walter and get him into his deepest focus. The most important thing for me was to keep him safe from this destruction.

"There is someone here, Robert, I saw him!" My mother's changed voice was not gentle and sweet anymore, now she was hysterical and filled with paranoia.

My father tried to hush her.

"I swear to you, Robert. I saw the man with my own eyes, he was staring at me from outside the window, and now he's inside the house,"

Her stressed steps were tapping the floor as she walked back and forth over the wooden boards.

Even if I couldn't see my parents, I could imagine their expressions and movements in detail. I had been through this so many times before.

"There's no man here, Alice!" My father tried to be gentle as he spoke, but his frustration was not far from taking over.

"But there is, Robert. There is a man in here and he's here to kill me. Why won't you just fucking believe me?!"

My mother's cursing made me swallow hard.

She was a prim lady. Never cursed or even rolled her eyes. She didn't even put her elbows on the dining table, because that was the way she was raised.

"He's going to kill me, he's going to kill me! He's killing you, and the children. Robert! He's going to kill my children," The anger in her desperate voice turned into complete fright and tears instead.

I knew that my mother was sick, and I was no longer afraid of the claimed murderer inside of the house. Because I knew that there was no one here to kill either her, my father, Walter, or myself. As long as Walter didn't hear anything about it, I could manage to handle it all until it would end.

The situation in the other room turned more violent as my mother ran around to prepare and arm herself for the mental ghost in the shape of a murderer. She screamed and threw things around when my father tried to calm her down

She got so angry when he wouldn't believe or listen to her threatening visions. But she didn't know any better, this was her truth and from another point of view, she was only being this hysterical because she wanted to protect her family with all her life.

I just wished that someday she would come to realize that this was all inside of her head.

But she never would.