Draft #216 - Hollowness
Processing emotions never has, and never will be, my strong suit. I am quick to anger where it matters and slow to react when it counts. It is easy to see what is needed of others. I can see how people should react and why, but for some reason, I cannot see that in myself.
It is easy for me to lock away my emotions, to pretend to be something that I am not. I had not realized how far I had taken this method, how much I was hurting my family with it.
But I can see, now. I can see.
***
"I think your anxiety has rubbed off on me," Kohgrash said nervously, rubbing his hands together to keep them warm. They were patiently - in Kohgrash's case and not so much in his - waiting for the ship that would take them to the Kindred.
It's been around three years since the last Alliance meeting, which was only about a year and a half for the Core, and they were due for another one soon. They were slightly ahead of schedule - at least, they were ahead of Rulshkka's schedule. He hadn't expected another meeting for at least another year or two.
"I do not have anxiety, Kohgrash," he grumbled, trying to still the twitching of his tail. It was true that was, perhaps, a little nervous, but it was going to be fine. A positive attitude brought many good things in his future, the therapist had told him.
Still, he kept close to Kohgrash, almost always touching him. He did not want to lose his friend, even if the security had been increased at the Core. Too many risks could be taken.
Their own security entourage had increased significantly. Instead of three guards, seven had been assigned instead. A lucky number, Kohgrash had said in an attempt to cheer him up. There was nothing lucky about them.
"What's taking so long?" he asked with a growl. They had said their goodbyes to Vi'mrakka and Thruul at the manor, the former too fussy to be forced into a long car ride to the space port. Rukka was with the Council, no doubt resuming her position as Vokkra advisor with sharp words and even sharper claws. Some had decided that since she had not taken the mantle of Vokkra in his absence that she was lacking in strength. Rulshkka was sure she'd prove them wrong.
"I dunno," Kohgrash said in that infuriatingly relaxed way. He furthered his irritation when the human looked at him with a languid smile, "Just relax, Vok'Rul. It's not like they're gonna start without us."
It was true, the Alliance meeting didn't happen until all species were accounted for, but it still didn't make him any less peeved. So when the ship finally landed in the docking port, he hissed meanly at the captain.
"Sorry, Rowlm," he heard Kohgrash mutter behind him. Rulshkka twitched his tail, making the human trip as he walked on board. "Hey!"
They finally took off after what seemed like ages, which was saying something since Vokkrus were so long-lived. The septuplet of guards were skulking about the ship but thankfully kept well away from him. Even Shul kept his distance.
Well, he was trying to.
"Are you excited to see L'rrim again, Shul?" Kohgrash asked curiously while Rulshkka hovered over Rowlm to silently will the ship to go faster.
"My apologies, Your Highness," Rowlm said evenly. His claws darted over the controls and soon, they were in Deep Space, entering the Drive. Rulshkka glanced at Kohgrash out of the corner of his eye, but he didn't look ill. He reached over the captain and slowly inched forward the throttle.
"Yes," Shul said slowly, as if he weren't quite sure what to make of Kohgrash's friendliness despite having known him for years. "Hopefully, this excursion will yield better results."
YOU ARE READING
The Autobiography Of An Alien
Science Fiction!! Sequel to In Search of Home. If you haven't read that, you'll be a little confused! !! After the humans invaded - somewhat; it was his fault, really - his planet, they left a gaping hole in his heart. It took the form of one Kohgrash. Rulshkka ha...
