𝐈𝐧 𝐌𝐲 𝐒𝐨𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐮𝐝𝐞 (𝒈𝒙𝒈)

𝐗𝐗𝐗𝐈 𝐀𝐩𝐨𝐥𝐨𝐠𝐢𝐞𝐬

𝐄𝐦𝐦𝐚

The sound of the door quietly closing awoke me from my sleep. I was a very light sleeper. I slowly lifted my head up, careful not to make too much noise because what if there's a serial killer in my room... It was dark, so the sun had set. I was asleep the whole evening, and I can feel dried up tears on my face. Just then, the desk lamp on the other side of the room lit up which scared the living lights out of me. Then I see her. Anna, my sister.

I couldn't believe it, there she was holding a bag, moving quietly as if trying not to wake up. She then sat on the chair, she hadn't noticed that I was awake yet, so I put my head back down and pretended I was asleep. I wanted to stay quiet, to just observe her calm state. Anna carefully put her things down, trying to settle in. She began taking out a notebook which I recognized as her diary. She then started writing.

The room was filled with nothing but silence. Not uncomfortable or comfortable silence, but nostalgic. Except for the soft sounds of scribbling.

"I know you're awake Emma." Anna said in a gentle voice which surprised me. It's been a long time since she talked to me that way.

Still, I stayed quiet. I sat up, clutching my legs to my chest. We sat in silence once again.

"...how was the trip?" She then asked quietly, it could be mistaken as a whisper.  I was baffled and confused. Why is she asking questions? Why isn't she cold like normal? Why is she even talking to me. I think she could sense my confusion and cleared her throat.

"Uh it was... Good. Fun." I replied shortly, hesitance clear in my voice.

"I see you've arranged your bookshelves once again. And there are new ones. Are they alphabetical or color coded?" She asked again, as if we were having the most normal conversation.

"It's alphabetically arranged based on the Authors' name." I reply, with less hesitance than the last. I can vaguely see her nod her head.

"I see. And what are those new books?"

I hesitated, scared to mention her name.

"Um.. Classic Literature. Drea gave it to me on the trip." I was expecting her to tense up, be angry and leave, but she again nods her head.

"Emma," she started with genuine care, "how have things been going lately?" You might think she's forcing herself, but no. Her voice held so much raw emotion.

Now, did I want to be honest? Should I confront her right now and maybe lose the last chance I get to talk to her normally? Or should I continue this meaningless small talk.

Let's find out in the next episode of power Puff gi-

Ahem.

Anyways

"Anna," I said with the same intensity she used just now, "It's been hard. I've been finding out new opportunities and new people in my life, but there is still that missing piece at the back of my mind. You are still missing from my life. And there is not a night where I don't think of what I did wrong to you. Why, all of a sudden you've grown so cold and distant." I said quietly, voice cracking as tears start to form in my eyes.

She was quiet.

"I-I don't understand, Anna. Tell me what I did wrong so I can fix it. Fix this." Tears were now running down my cheeks. I closed my eyes and start to steady my breathing. All of a sudden I felt a familiar warmth, almost identical to mine, touch my hand. I opened my eyes and there she was, face covered in tears twice as mine.

"I-I'm so sorry Emma." She said through tears. "I wanted to change. I was jealous. And I am so sorry. I wanted to be as smart as you. After the graduation, when the scores finally came out, you had the highest score. My heart was filled with pride. But then, people started to look at me. With their distasteful gaze and judgemental eyes. Soon enough I started hearing the rumors. People looked down on me. They started pointing out the fact that our family is short on money. And unconsciously, I started putting the blame on you. So, I wanted to change. To be better. I started hanging out with the wrong people, the popular kids. They taught me how to belittle people because of their worth. I am so sorry." By the time she was finished, she looked ashamed. Scared to even look at me in the eyes. I didn't know she had to go all through that.

I gently held her hands. "I am so sorry Anna, for you to go through that because I-" she cuts me off.

"No. Don't you ever be sorry Emma. You didn't do anything wrong. It took me months and a lot of epiphanies to realize, I am proud of you." She said so sincerely, like her heart was about to burst.

At those words, my heart did.

I didn't realize I needed to hear that, from her. Tears flowed down my face, but a sweet smile on my lips. I hugged her, tightly. Like I never want to lose her again. We held each other for what felt like eternity. Until, we heard mom's voice calling my name, probably for dinner. Which reminds me...

"Does mom know you're here?" I said, still with a smile on my lips.

"Nope." Anna replied nonchalantly, popping the "p". We both stared at each other before busting out laughing. I missed this. I missed her. Life felt real again.

...

"Anna?" Mom said in a soft whisper. She was shocked, confused. I mean, I would be too when my daughter who hasn't come home for a few weeks decided to show up.

"Hi mom.." Anna said shyly. Mom then took a glance at our entwined hands. Suddenly her expression changed, with that of relief and joy. Her eyes welled up as she ran towards us, engulfing us in a tight hug.

"I knew you were gonna fix things. I missed my little girls." She said with so much pride, I almost thought she was gay.

"Mom... You might miss us more once we die from your hug." Anna squeeked out, barely able not talk because of the pressure.

"Oh!" Mom lightly chuckled as she released her death grip on us.

"I knew my baby girls could work things out." Mom wiped a stray tear from her eyes, looking at us with so much adoration. Anna cleared her throat.

"Mom, I haven't been emotionally present in your life for months because of my selfish ignorance. I wanted to change, oh so badly but I never realized that the change I needed didn't come from other people. Only my family could make me change. If only I had listened to your advice, if only I was proud of being Emma's sister... It was so fucking stupid of me to forget that." Anna ended with frustration written on her face.

"Language. But Anna, my dear, I will never hate you. I can't physically do that. I am your mother, and whatever happens, I will always be the happiest mom to have such amazing daughters. You two have grown so much." We once again we're wrapped in a bear hug. But I didn't mind. I'm happy to be a part of this family."

The end.

Lol just kidding, don't forget to vote comment, and tell me what you think!
-B :0