Stay[Freenbecky]

Chapter 14

Becky swear she could feel her heart beating hard against her chest. She could feel her stomach churning from the sudden rush of emotions. Unconsciously, she pressed her hand against her chest, unaware with the worried glances from Freen.

Until the latter asked, “Are you okay?” Freen stared at the other lass concerned, “You don’t have to answer right away. I’m willing to wait, don’t worry.”

Becky breathed deeply before meeting the worried eyes of Freen. Surely, everything she heard from Freen is a shock and she doesn’t know how to react because it is her first time receiving such confession and from the girl she like at that. But she’s happy— ecstatic even. She never imagined that Freen feels the same way even though she was hoping for it.

And then the sudden tightening around her chest reminded her of her condition. She exhaled, trying to calm herself as she doesn’t want the other girl to witness an attack.

God knows how much Becky wanted to say that she feels the same way. That she’s willing to spend the following days with Freen without pretending, that she likes her just as much but the reminders that there’s a high possibility of her leaving any time stops her.

She could leave Freen any time and that means hurting the dancer.

She doesn’t want to hurt Freen.

And so she said the words she would surely regret for the rest of her life.

“I’m sorry, Freen.” She gulped the lump in her throat, forcing herself to stay calm, “I don’t think I like you the same way.”

She lied.

Because the heaven’s knows how much she likes the girl. It might be even love.

But she couldn’t just hurt Freen once she died.

She couldn’t hurt the girl that made her want to live for once.

“You’re stupid.”

Becky called her best friends after Freen sent her home and those are the first words she heard from them. And honestly, she can’t disagree. Because she is.

“You like her, Becky. You feel the same way and yet you lied.” Irin groaned as she sat beside the heartbroken lass, “You’re hurting both of you.”

“I don’t want to hurt her when I die. We all know I can die any time.” Becky defended, avoiding the concern eyes of her best friends, “I don’t know how much time I still have. I don’t know if it would be enough to show her much she means to me.”

“And so you thought that denying your feelings would show her how much she means to you?” Mind asked, “That was stupid, Becky. You already hurt her the moment you rejected her.”

“Isn’t it better to hurt her now? You know, than spending more time with her and make her hang to the thought that we could spend forever?”

“Becky.”

“I just don’t want to give her false hope that we’re going to last long.”

“Then, why don’t you make the most out of it?” Mind sighed before walking towards the other two, “I hate that you already stopped hoping that you’ll be okay but if that’s it, then why don’t you just spend all those moments with her?”

Becky stared at the oldest, “Mind, I can’t. That would hurt her more.”

Mind, seeing the unshed tears in her best friend’s eyes, nodded before engulfing Becky into her warmth. She wanted Becky to understand that those thoughts are just idiotic but she understands that Becky is just scared.