Stay[Freenbecky]

Chapter 23

“Do I have to let you go now?” Freen asked, as tears filled her eyes.

It is painful, so much more than she expected that she was instantly filled with sadness. She just wasn’t sure it’s because she had to let her go or because she couldn’t.

“This is hard, baby. So please, please let me let you go in pieces.” Freen sobbed, as she stares at the night sky, the same sky that watched her love the woman she hopes to have forever, “Please, one piece at a time, Becky. It hurts a little less that way, baby.”

She wasn’t sure if Becky could hear her, after all, Becky is a little far away now.

They maybe didn’t spend a really long time together, but every moment she gets to spend with Becky made her feel like she knows her whole life.

Freen looked down as tears continues to fall, “I’ll move on, I swear baby, just─not now, not yet.” She couldn’t stop herself from crying harder, “I still feel you here, so just let me be for now, hmm?”

It’s been three months, three months of hell, of tears, of heartbreak, of sadness, of longing, and broken promises.

Becky lost the battle.

It was painful. A whole lot painful, especially to the ones closer to her.

Especially to Freen who wanted to spend forever with her.

But every single one of them knew how much Becky tried to fight harder.

She woke up a week after that day.

She fought because she wanted to spend a little bit more time with her loved ones.

Becky was happy when she saw how Freen got closer to her parents, to her friends. 

Becky was just glad she gets to say how grateful she for Irin and Mind’s presence in her life.

Becky was just grateful she gets to apologize and thank her parents for being the best they could be.

Becky was just happy when she still has the chance to made Freen feel her love.

It wasn’t sudden.

Losing Becky.

It was gradual.

They saw how Becky went from the shining sunflower that she was to the wilting flower she became.

It was sad, painful watching her to try to be strong in front of them when everyone is aware of how hard it is for her.

She was laughing with them and then the next second, she’s gasping for air.

It happens a lot of times that it scares them when Becky would just stop for a second to catch a breath.

Everyone is aware of how much they deny the possibility of losing Becky.

They weren’t ready.

They are not ready.

They aren’t, but they don’t any choice.

Becky knew her time would be cut short sooner, so she asked her best friends to organize a small party for everyone.

Irin and Mind are both aware of what’s running inside Becky’s mind, so with a heavy heart they did.

They spent three days together in Freen’s family beach.

They spend time as if they weren’t losing someone soon.

That’s what Becky asked of them, and they did.

It was fun.

Too fun that for a moment they forgot that the time’s near.

And Becky spends the whole three days happily.

But on the last night, with Freen’s arms wrapped around her, her head resting on the dancer’s chest, Becky’s heart took its rest. And Freen could only tighten her hold as she sobbed silently.

“Do you think she’ll be fine there?” Mind asked.

Noey shakes her head, her eyes not leaving her best friend, “No, but she needs that.”

It’s been a month since they lost their sunshine, and this is the only time Freen let herself cry that hard.

“I miss her,” Mind smiles sadly, “I miss my best friend, Noey.”

Noey faces her before opening her arms, “I know, we all do.”

Mind exhales shakily after letting herself be pulled in for a hug. It’s warm, but the longing for her best friend doesn’t lessen.

She grew up with Becky and Irin.

She spent puberty with Becky and Irin.

She spent ugly days with Becky and Irin.

She spent happy days with Becky and Irin.

And now that they lost one, she doesn’t know what to do.

It has always been them three.

And now that they lost the only person who balances them, Mind wasn’t sure what would happen now.

“It’ll be okay, soon. You still have us.”

“Hey.”

Irin looked up and smiled at her visitor.

“Hello,”

They shared a short laughter before they fell into silence. Love took a seat beside the woman, offering a hand.

Irin stares at the offered hand, before letting herself intertwine her own. She felt a gentle squeeze.

“How are you?” Love asked, she knows it’s a stupid question, but she wanted to ask.

Irin hums, “I miss Becky, a lot.” She sighed, as she slumps her back on the bench they were seated.

“I think we all do.” Love smiles, “She’s the life of the group, you know? I just feel lucky I met her.”

“Me too.”

Irin remembers the first time she met the happy Becky.

She was so bright that Irin doubts if she could stay friends with someone brighter than Mind.

Becky.

Becky has always been smiling.

She was so friendly that no one can get mad at her.

Becky who was brighter than the sun.

Becky taught her to be happy.

To enjoy life.

But how can she now that one of the reasons she’s enjoying life is now gone?

“You know, Becky will always be here, right?” Love looks at her adoringly, “She’ll stay with us as long as we keep her memories.”

Nam and Kade stood at the rooftop, watching over their friends. Their hearts aching for Freen.

Nam sighed before looking at the sky, stars filling up the dark space, “We’ll be fine, Becky.” She sniffed before feeling Kade’s arm around her shoulder, “Just give us some more time to miss you.”

“When the time comes, don’t spend too long grieving for me, okay?”

“I’ll be fine there, so don’t worry too much.”

“You’ll be fine, we’ll be fine.”

“I hate to make you cry, but if you want, just do, alright?”

“It’s okay. It’s okay.”

“You can cry, but not too much.”

“It’ll be okay, soon.”

“I love you.”

Rebecca Patricia Armstrong

Born: December 05, ****

Died: April 17, ****

Beautiful as a bright shining star.