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My new bedroom is twice the size of the lounge in my flat. Well, my old flat now. The bed is a four-poster wooden thing, and the mattress is like lying on a fluffy cloud. My initial thought is that the décor in here is so bland, but Kai told me we can redecorate if I want. The clock beside me says it's one-fifteen in the morning, and I haven't had a wink of sleep yet.

We got to Windsor with most of my stuff by seven this evening, and he showed me around. His bedroom is two doors down, and the room which we agreed for the nursery – eventually – will be one of the bedrooms between us. This cottage is big but also pretty small when compared to the other houses, and obviously the castle, on the land. We have the cottage near a lake that runs through Frogmore, which is in the middle of what they call Home Park – the land of the Royal Family where Windsor Castle is, along with a whole host of other parks, houses and buildings owned by the Crown Estate. The whole cottage is in the middle of this little mini-forest of trees, grass and amazing smelling flowers, so it feels like we're really in a forest, like in a Disney film.

The whole place is secluded, peaceful and homely. The kitchen is modernised yet feels dated to keep with the fact this place is an old heritage protected building, the rooms feel royal and plush but keep the vibes throughout. It's the peaceful cottage in the woods I dreamed of growing up, especially after Mum died. Yet at the same time, it doesn't feel right because it's not my little flat in the city, where I should be going to work tomorrow. Instead, I'll be meeting the King and Queen of England, soon to be my in-laws, and the grandparents to my baby.

I messaged Gemma telling her that I've left and it'll become clear in a few days, but she hasn't replied yet. Patrick kept messaging earlier but he's gone to bed now, as have Dad and Annie.

I give up trying to sleep, get out of bed and stand at the window. I left the curtains half opened when I came to sleep. The privacy of the forest surrounding us feels nice, and the small lights within the trees leave it not too dark. There are streetlights around the land, but they come on with motion sensors.

To go from a bustling city where there is always traffic and noise to this where the only noise is the animals around the land and the noises of the house. The ticking of a clock or the running of water, the movement if Kai is moving around. It's so silent.

Silence is the worst noise of all; it can drive you crazy, say a lot, meanwhile let your brain run wild. At least if there was chaos and noise, it would keep me distracted.

Which is why it doesn't surprise me when there's a knock on my bedroom door.

"Come in," I call.

He opens the door and walks in. "Can't sleep either?"

I turn around to look at him. He's wearing a loose black t-shirt and grey pyjama trousers. It's weird because when I fell asleep next to him in my bed, back in my flat, he was naked. We've seen each other naked, and I distinctly remember how he's defined, the way he looks under those clothes, but somehow it feels more intimate right now seeing him clothed in the dark and knowing he's seeing me in my baggy t-shirt and shorts.

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