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A year ago, going out to a café or restaurant was a luxury for a different reason than it is now. Back then, it was more about not having the spare cash to do it very often and therefore it was something so luxurious and 'out there' that I savoured it every time. Now, it's so accessible to me, all I have to do is hand over my debit card the palace has given me with my funds to spend on what they call 'the little things' like going out to eat, gifts, hobbies and that kind of thing. It's so strange because my personal funds before I joined royalty were so carefully planned, it still feels strange to just go out because I feel like it.

What makes this a luxury, though, is that though I can go out on a whim, I know that my mere presence will spark excitement around the town. People see me, whisper to their friends who then whisper further, and before I know it, I'm sitting with a coffee or lunch, and the media are outside the window, waiting for me, my security is on a table on the other side of the room and everyone stares every so often. 

It's such a hassle, Kai told me he never usually bothers, and nor do I now. But this once, with my family, it's worth it. We rarely ever get time to do this before now, so it's amazing to finally be able to. We're sitting in an upmarket and rather expensive café having afternoon tea, which before all of this, would've been some sort of birthday gift for one of us, not just a last-minute decision, because why not?

But there is a reason behind my madness of it just being Annie, Patrick, my dad and me. Well, and the personal bodyguard they've hired permanently for me – Amber – who is on the next table to give us a little privacy.

We're in a private little alcove at the back of the café so no one can overhear us or bother us, and the window doesn't look in over us either.

I tell the three of them what's happened with Kai and him telling me the decision of what we do is up to me.

"Are they still planning the wedding and everything?" Annie asks.

I nod. "No one is into it, but it's got to be done, so they're prepping things. I'm meeting with the dress designer tomorrow again to go over the mock-up they sent. Are you sure none of you want to see it?"

Annie shakes her head. "I want to see it for the first time on you before the wedding, you know? If you don't mind."

I laugh. "Of course I don't mind! I just—it's weird. We're still getting married and everything, but this feels like I'm on the edge of a black hole. He's given me a massive, massive life decision here, and I don't know what to do."

Dad puts his hand on mine across the table. "You don't have to make this decision. It's not fair he's put this on you."

"You're right, it's not fair. But he's also in the middle of his own orbit of grief and it's not fair to him, either," I say. "I can guide him with my choice, but make sure he chooses himself, too."

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