That One Moment...

Chapter 30

Day 102

Sarah woke up feeling so warm and safe, she immediately realized something was wrong. What was off? As she started to really come back to reality, Sarah felt the weight of an arm across her midsection and the body next to her. She jumped up...dislodging what she finally remembered was probably Ryan from his slumber as well.

"oh my god." Was all Sarah could say out loud as Ryan blinked awake.

"I must have fallen asleep. Sorry. What time is it?" Ryan asked as he looked around and out towards the woods. Sarah glanced over as well. Luckily it was still dark.

"I don't know."

Ryan stood up from her bed and reached into his pocket to grab his phone. "It's only 3. I can be heading home. Sorry again for overstaying my welcome." He looked at her.

Sarah just stared back, still trying to put things together about how she had ended up in this situation in the first place. As her mind began to un-fog from sleep and her recent scare of waking up with someone in bed with her, Sarah remembered her confessions from the night before and how she had pretty much told Ryan everything. "Um...not unwanted, just scared me. I wasn't totally awake and didn't remember falling asleep...and, won't your parents be worried about where you are? It's a Monday night, right...?" Sarah found her mind and mouth wandering around in thoughts and questions. She was immensely relieved to note that she and Ryan were both fully clothed, so she hadn't done anything beyond spill her guts, cry like a baby, and fall asleep on him...

Ryan laughed a bit as he realized the tensions had faded some and he was not totally out of place being there. "I let them know I was coming over here, texted them that you needed someone once I got here. They won't be worried since I am with you."

"That's crazy." Sarah could not wrap her mind around the fact that his parents would be so blasé about him being out at a girl's house overnight. "Do you stay at girls' places that often? I am so confused" Sarah had to admit, although maybe she shouldn't have out loud.

Ryan looked at her a bit strange. "Sarah, this is totally not normal for me. My parents aren't going to be worried because I told them what I was doing and they trust me. I assume they know I am not a saint, by any means, but this was different."

"Different?"

"It's you." Was all he said, as if that answered things for Sarah. As she stared at him blankly, Ryan sighed. "I already told you, at least twice now, that you are different, that the relationship we had and that I want is not what I have had in the past. I told my parents the same thing."

"Do people normally do that? Tell their parents about girls, or boys, or whatever?" As Ryan took the turn to stare at her silently, Sarah stumbled a bit to continue. "I mean, this is just something else knew for me. I know my family like isn't normal, but I would never think kids are that open to their parents."

Ryan laughed when he realized what she was thinking. "I don't talk about my sex life with them, well...at least not in any detail, if that is what you are thinking. Furthermore, we have gotten nowhere near having sex, so I haven't had a sex life since last summer almost."

Sarah just stared at him as Ryan walked towards her. Stopping right in front of her, Ryan continued, "Remember that you are different to me because you mean something. I like being around you, I miss being around you, I always want to be around you. It is a bit scary, especially since you don't want to be around anyone more than half the time. I kind of get it, kind of understand your hesitancy to open up and fear of intimacy, after just learning a small bit about your family. I was happy to be there for you last night. I knew you needed someone, maybe even me, so I came over and you did open up. I won't push you more, especially with the crap show your family is right now, but I am here. I am here if you need me, when you need me, or when you might actually want me."

Ryan smiled as Sarah continued to just stare at him. "I do need to get home though and should probably not be found in your room by your parents."

Sarah snorted at that, adding quietly "They never check up on me before they go to work, but it would track that today would be the day."

Leaning in, Ryan hugged her, kissing her hair near her left ear. After a long pause, Sarah heard him whisper "I'll see you later." She couldn't catch the rest though, as Ryan let her go and went out the sliding glass door in to the night. He turned before shutting it, smiling at her. There was something way too pleased in him with that last look though.

Sarah wandered back around her room, picking up her homework and other junk that she had just dropped on the floor when she got home yesterday. After finding her phone, Sarah saw a few unread messages. Leo had checked in on her, while Abby had let her know she had told her dad Sarah missed practice because her mom was discharged from the hospital. Sarah sighed, glad that was taken care of at least. Ryan seemed to have texted that he was coming over to check on her. Sarah must have been really out of it to not hear her phone dinging away. Jeremy had also texted about how she had been weirdly distracted in Spanish and he was worried too. 

She had never had support before, but now there were multiple people checking up on her. She didn't feel as isolated and alone. Sarah felt like she was coming back alive again, like the trauma of the weekend was being overpowered by her friends and their unconditional concern about her. 

Sarah decided to text everyone back now, since she wasn't really tired and didn't think she could go back to sleep yet. She also texted her sister to update her on their mom being discharged. On an almost whim, since they don't usually discuss the dysfunction of their parents, she let her know about their dad lashing out physically at Sarah. It was good to make Kathy aware of the potential new danger if she got into a fight with him again.

By the time Sarah had caught up with her texts, she was finally starting to feel tired. Sending out a quick "Thank you" to Ryan, Sarah plugged in her phone, checked her alarm was still set, and passed out in her, now slightly lonely and cold, bed.