Borderline Awakening 2024

I Figured it Out

Love is Presence. 

How could I have missed what was so simply just there? 

One of the main characters here is a person I 'fell in love with' in like almost instantly. I was confused too. I didn't let the confusion keep me away from what I found and kept on letting it grow and develop. I kept searching for answers. 

I mean was it the idealization of BPD? Was it that I was trapped for my whole life and the first time I feel anything I got attached? Was it that I met my actual twin flame? 

Weeks leading up to meeting him I was praying to meet my divine. I want a partner to walk side by side with and to truly see and support me as I also see and support them. I wanted to be independent in my identity and then choose someone who also had substance to who they were becoming. I wanted to be seen and heard and held. I wanted to feel love in my heart for another soul. I wanted to feel connected. 

What is it that truly brings connection? I would say it is presence. What is it that is the root to all fulfilment and the ease and flow of life? That is right! Presence.

After just one phone call at 2am last night everything clicked. I found presence in him. That is what I felt in love with! I felt in love with the presence he is able to hold and embody. Gosh it is so radiant. So bright. His coldness melted away and his eyes softened. Ah Ha! There he was! I knew I wasn't crazy! He is back and I was not wrong.

Falling into my ego and all its attachment issues really put me through a dark night I'll never soon forget. Letting that go I was in search for peace again. In search of meaning and direction. There it was. Presence. No words could describe that pure light. No words are needed. A secure heart and a safe soul. Presence has illuminated the truth of all that I am.

Every single breakup or separation is always going to inspire growth. I know the man I love. I know him because I have met his soul, and my soul feels happy when around his. My heart is happy when he is there. In his presence I find love. True connection and lasting soul bonds.

Who should be the one to dictate how we live our lives? Is it what you want to do and achieve actually your own dream? Whose dream do you have? Are you fully and Truely in control of your life and how you craft your own story aside from floating past opinions? Aren't new stories created every day? Your story will be an inspiration to many others as you chose to live your life from your authenticity and horrorcore. Opened hearted Presence. 

Choosing to craft your own story on blank pages where there is unknown after unknown, and miracles just seem to come easily. New changes are welcomed as you close a chapter of your old life and way of thinking. 

Presence is who we truly are. Feeling your heart again. Feeling the meaning and the purpose of being. Letting go and Allowing Growth, Change and vast Expansion.