UNLIKELY MATCH | HEESEUNG

14 - 3 AM Talk

HEESEUNG'S POV

I can't sleep, not when there's only a wall between me and Sena. My mind is racing, replaying the events of tonight over and over again. I never expected things to escalate like this, to find myself in a situation where I'm comforting Sena, offering her a place to stay for the night. It's all so surreal, and yet, there's a part of me that feels oddly content, knowing she's just in the next room.

I toss and turn in bed, unable to find a comfortable position. Finally, I give up and sit up, running a hand through my hair in frustration. What am I doing? Why am I letting her get to me like this? She's just a girl, a stranger. Fuck it, why am I so affected by her presence? It's like she's managed to burrow her way under my skin in just one night, and I can't seem to shake her off. Every time I close my eyes, I see her tear-stained face, hear the sound of her sobs echoing in my mind.

Groaning, I rub my temples when Raven makes her way to me, curling up at the foot of the bed. She nuzzles against my leg and I reach down to stroke her fur. "You never let me hold you the way you let her hug you, you little traitor," I mutter, though there's no real heat in my words. Raven just purrs in response, as if she understands, but I highly doubt she does. "Do you want to go to her?" I ask, and Raven's ears perk up as if she understands me. She hops off the bed and pads over to the living room. I let out a humorless laugh. Raven really chooses Sena over me without a second thought. Maybe there's something about Sena that draws both humans and animals alike to her.

I glance at the clock; it's past 3 a.m. I should try to get some sleep. Tomorrow is going to be a long day and I need to be somewhat functional. But I can't, and so I find myself stepping out of the room to check on Sena who must be long asleep by now. Except... she isn't. 

"Heeseung?" She sits up, wiping tears that have pooled in her eyes. I freeze, my heart twisting at the sight of her tears. "I'm sorry, I thought you were asleep and your cat was keeping me company, I didn't mean to disturb you." Her voice is soft, almost apologetic, and it only adds to the guilt building in my insides. 

"I couldn't sleep either." Admitting it makes me feel vulnerable and exposed, but isn't she the reason for my restlessness? "Are you okay?" I ask, taking a few tentative steps closer to her. She doesn't look okay, not in the slightest, but I still have to ask. I still want her to be honest with me. 

I watch the way she fidgets with the edge of the blanket, her fingers trembling slightly. It almost looks like she wants to say something, but she hesitates, her gaze flickering away from mine. I didn't sign up for this when I agreed on the arranged marriage, I didn't sign up to sit next to her at three in the morning and watch her cry, listen to her pour her heart out. But here I am, unable to turn away, unable to pretend that her pain doesn't affect me. 

"Everything just feels so... overwhelming right now. Everyone is telling me Ujin is a bad person, that I should leave him, but it's not that simple," Sena confesses, her voice barely above a whisper. "I love him, or at least I thought I did. But lately, it's like I don't even know him anymore. He's been so... different, so angry all the time. And I don't know how to fix it, how to make things right again. I don't know if I even want to make things right, but I get the urge to apologize because that's what's expected of me. I'm the one who always tries to smooth things over, to make everyone happy, and when I can't do that, I start wondering if I'm even worth being loved."

Listening to her words makes my eyes soften and as much as I hate admitting it, my heart aches for her. "Then what about your own happiness?" 

She winces and her cords come out as a whisper. "I'm scared of ending up alone... you wouldn't understand because you're okay being alone, but I'm not like you. I want to please my father so I can be his favorite child too, I want to fix everything with Ujin because I'm scared of facing the reality of being on my own. I've spent so much of my life trying to meet everyone else's expectations, trying to be the perfect daughter, the perfect girlfriend, that I've lost sight of what truly makes me happy."