UNLIKELY MATCH | HEESEUNG

37 - The Edge Of The Cliff

SENA'S POV

Heeseung and I head to the hospital where his friend is admitted, my heart heavy with worry for both Heeseung and his friend. We walk through the sterile corridors while Heeseung's hand tightens around mine, making me glance at him, his fingers intertwined with mine. I see the way he looks so worried and vulnerable and I can tell he cares about this friend of his. I can tell he genuinely values their friendship and I hope against hope for this friend to make it through the treatment and recover fully. The last thing I want to see is Heeseung broken and defeated and if praying and hoping is what's going to keep me from witnessing that, then I'll do it with all my heart.

We arrive in front of a room and Heeseung takes a deep breath before knocking on the door and stepping inside. I'm expecting to see a man, with pale skin and weary eyes, lying in the hospital bed, but instead, what I find catches me completely off guard.

"Heeseung," She says and I'm still standing at the door, suddenly realizing that the person inside is not the friend I had expected, but a woman. She sits upright in the bed, her demeanor strong despite the hospital gown and the IV drip beside her. "I'm sorry I had to call you again." 

I watch as he shakes his head, putting his hand against the back of his neck as he approaches her bedside. "No, don't apologize. It's okay, Haruka. I'm here now," Heeseung replies, his voice gentle and reassuring. I can see the concern etched into his features as he looks at her and something inside of me twists. I stand by the door, feeling like an outsider in this moment between them. 

"I'm Sena," I introduce myself, stepping forward cautiously. "I'm Heeseung's..." I hesitate, unsure how to define our relationship in this context. "I'm his-"

"She's my wife." Heeseung's words take me off guard and I just watch as he reaches to hold my hand and intertwine our fingers. It takes everything in me to not let my jaw drop in surprise. Wife. I'm his wife. We're legally married, but it still feels strange to hear him refer to me as such in front of someone else, especially given the circumstances. 

Haruka offers me a faint smile, her eyes glancing between Heeseung and me. "Nice to meet you, Sena," She says, her tone polite but distant. I can't tell if she's genuinely pleased to meet me or if my presence adds an uncomfortable layer to an already complicated situation. I can't tell if she's just being polite or if she's genuinely curious about who I am and what my relationship with Heeseung is.

"Likewise, Haruka," I reply, returning her smile with a small one of my own. "I'm sorry to hear about your diagnosis. I'm sure you'll be fine. Don't lose hope." I'm trying my hardest to be a good, supportive person in this situation, even though I can feel the tension hanging in the air like a heavy cloud. I just feel it somehow, and yet, I can't help but wonder about the dynamic between Heeseung and Haruka. 

"Do you feel better? Did the doctors tell you anything?" Heeseung pulls out a chair for me to sit and when I do, he rests his hand on my shoulder and gently squeezes it and every dark thought evaporates under his warm touch. Every single doubt and insecurity I had moments ago melt away as I bask in the comfort of his presence.

Haruka's expression turns solemn as she shakes her head. "Not much, really. They're still discussing treatment options, but it's all so overwhelming. I'm scared, Heeseung. I just don't know what to expect and I don't want to tell my family, at least not before I know for sure what's going to happen to me. I don't even know how they'll take it." Her voice trembles slightly, betraying the fear and uncertainty she's grappling with. The word family makes me want to scream and cry but all I do is sit there like a stone, listening to Haruka's words while Heeseung stands by my side.  

"You'll have to tell them at some point. I know your father will blame me for not telling him, Haruka, so if you don't tell him soon, I'll have to tell him myself," Heeseung says, his voice firm but gentle, his hand still resting on my shoulder. They're close enough for him to talk to her father, I realize. 

"I know. I just need some time to process everything before I let them know." This feeling of being an intruder in their intimate conversation gnaws at me, but I swallow my discomfort and focus on being supportive. Maybe I'm just selfish and insecure. She's clearly suffering from something I can never fully understand, and yet here I am, worrying about my own place in their lives. "I heard you were hurt. Why didn't you tell me? Are you okay?" 

"Yeah," Heeseung's eyes soften as he looks at Haruka, a small smile tugging at the corner of his lips. "I'm okay. It's nothing serious. Just a minor injury from the race. I didn't want to worry you about it when you have a lot on your plate already. Just focus on resting and becoming better. You're in no position to worry about other people." 

"I guess you're right." She smiles and damn it, she's beautiful. Her hair is black and long, making me regret cutting my hair shorter. Her eyes are this beautiful light brown and she has freckles that make her skin glow even under the harsh hospital lights. She radiates warmth and kindness and, as much as I try to deny it, I'm getting jealous. I don't know anything about her but she knows a lot about Heeseung, I can tell. From the way she looks at him, the way she talks to him, the ease with which they communicate—it's clear they know each other more than I'd like to admit. 

"You must be hungry. I'll go get you some food," When Heeseung turns to me, he brushes a strand of hair away from my face and his thumb gently strokes my cheek. "I'll be right back." 

And with that, he steps out of the room, leaving me alone with a part of his life I have no idea about. The silence that follows is not so comfortable and before I know it, Haruka speaks. "Heeseung and I had been friends for so long. I have known him since he first became a professional racer and we have always been close." I sit there, listening to another woman talk about how close she and and the man I love have been, feeling a knot of jealousy tightening in my chest with each word she speaks. I try to push aside the irrational feelings bubbling up inside me, reminding myself that Heeseung chose me, that I'm the one he loves. But the doubts linger, festering like a wound that refuses to heal.

"I see." I don't even know what to say so I take a deep breath and tell myself everything will be okay. "Do you live here?" 

"No, I only came here for work," Haruka sighs and runs her fingers through her long, dark brown locks. "I'm still trying to understand that my life is about to change drastically and Heeseung is the only person I know here who I knew I could count on so forgive me if I reached out to him and intruded on your time together."

If I blame her, someone who's clearly going through a difficult time, then I'm just as bad as those who hurt me. And I force myself to push aside the envy and resentment that creep into my heart. Haruka is not the enemy here. She's just a woman seeking comfort in the friendship of someone she trusts. Blaming her would be unfair and selfish. "No, you don't have to apologize. I'm glad he could be here for you. He cares about you a lot."

There's this soft look on her face and it tugs at my heartstrings. "Thank you, Sena. You're very understanding." I offer her a small smile in return and excuse myself to go to the bathroom. Maybe I can do this, I think to myself. Maybe I can be supportive without letting my own insecurities get in the way. 

"Where's Sena?" I hear Heeseung ask and my heart aches a little. He's concerned about me and I'm doubting his love. I'm a freaking idiot. 

"She went to the bathroom," Haruka says and there's this silence between them, making me wonder what's going on. And then she speaks, "You said I deserved better because you were too focused on your career and yet, you're married now. Heeseung, I'm starting to think you didn't leave me because I deserved better. You left me because I was the problem, didn't you?"

"Haruka," I hear him sigh and I wonder if his heart is sinking to the lowest pit of his stomach like mine is. The realization is hitting me over and over like a big, heavy hammer and I'm nothing but a wreck. "I left because I thought it was the right thing to do at the time. I wasn't in a place where I could give you the love and support you deserved, and I didn't want to hold you back from finding happiness-"

"You were my happiness, Heeseung." Her words stab me right in the heart. They echo what I've been feeling all along, but hearing them out loud from Haruka's lips makes it all the more painful. I stand there, rooted to the ground, wondering if the world is planning on taking away the one person who means everything to me. If I'm destined to be alone and brokenhearted like my father wants. I'm standing at the edge of the cliff again, but this time, I wonder if there's any safety net below to catch me if I fall.