Minefield of Mirrors

-34-

With a blanket wrapped around her, Iris sat in front of the window of her hotel room. Just staring at how the sun was setting behind the skyline of Jeddah. Ever since she got back from the track this afternoon, she had been sitting on this exact spot. It had felt like a long-lost battle when she had returned to the hotel. Max had taken all her stuff from her right away, except her phone. It had rung a couple of times since she had been here, but Iris hadn't found the energy to get back on her feet and take the call as it was probably a work call.

A cloud moved for a few seconds in front of the setting sun and made everything outside a shade darker because of it. Iris closed her eyes and took a deep breath. Her belly was aching because of all the worries of her job. There were still so many things that had to be done today to get the first few tests up and running for this weekend. Of course, she had talked to a lot of different people who had already promised her to try her recommendations this weekend. Yet there was still this thing inside her belly that kept aching. Did she forget something? Would everything go well? What if something went wrong during the explanation and they would forget the different steps they had to go through to?

Iris knew damn well that she had to forget about work for a moment. Max told her loud and clear that she had to return to the hotel to get some rest and to make her mind forget about everything. But how could she forget it all when her whole career was depending on it? Mister Poken wasn't someone who would forget a project went wrong. If he could already fire one of her friends that easily without any reason, then he would for sure not have any difficulties with firing her. Red Bull was such a huge account and a big part of the profit was depending on this account as well.

Oh, damn shit. There were even more things that could hold her accountable if she didn't succeed. All the interns would be fired, because of a lack of budget. Their hopes and dreams would be wiped away in an instant. The image of her company would get hurt as well, because if they aren't able to succeed on an account like Red Bull, how would they make improvements on other accounts? A lot of their clients would probably move on to another company that seemed able to do so.

That wouldn't only mean Iris and the interns would get fired, but that would mean that direct colleagues of hers would lose their jobs as well.

She had to get her shit together. Period.

Iris had to put herself past her tiredness and get started on the different sheets again.

It didn't matter that she was tired. There were too many factors depending on her. Waiting for her to just do her job and make the unthinkable happen.

A little willpower inside of Iris made her push herself from the floor, but as soon as she stood back on her feet, still with the blanket wrapped around her shoulders, she felt the exhaustion overpowering her willpower.

What was she even doing? Who was she trying to fool? There was no way she was getting that promotion. How could she even, in an unfamiliar world like this?

All she wanted to do was to sleep. At least, that was what her gut was telling her. Yet, every time she closed her eyes, her brain wouldn't stop making up these terrible scenarios where everyone would turn their back to Iris. Purely out of disappointment.

If she couldn't sleep, how was she ever going to get her energy back?

A few knocks sounded on the door, followed by Linsey's voice. 'Iris? Are you there?'

With all the effort in the world, Iris walked towards the door of her hotel room. It was almost like her legs were filled with lead. Impossible to drag along.

Another few times, Linsey knocked against the door. 'Iris?'

Once Iris had made her way to the door, she slowly opened the door in front of her, making herself visible to Linsey.

The smile on Linsey's face disappeared within a blink. 'Are you okay sweetie...?'

It was such a simple question. It was one of the questions that people asked on a daily basis. Somehow it suddenly seemed like one of the hardest questions to answer. What was someone supposed to answer when they didn't even know it for themselves?

Iris shrugged almost invisible. 'I'm okay...'

'Max told me he sent you home this afternoon. I'm so sorry I was stuck in a meeting... Otherwise, I would've brought you back here myself.'

'It's okay...' Iris whispered. She had no clue what to answer or what to think. She didn't even have a clue what this whole world was about. Her whole mind seemed to be captured by a big blur and it was impossible to make that blur go away.

Linsey stepped closer and took Iris's hands in hers. 'What is going on? You can tell me anything, you know that, right?'

Iris glanced down at their hands while tears started to make their appearance behind her eyes again. 'I don't know... I... I feel so empty... Tired... Exhausted... I don't know.'

A little squeeze in her hands. 'Why? Did things get too much up here?'

Slowly but steadily, Iris shook her head. 'No, it's not that. I... I just need to get a good night of sleep and I'll be back on my feet again tomorrow.'

She let go of Linsey's hands and grabbed the blanket around her shoulder to wrap it more firmly around her. It felt like a little shield from the outside world. Iris wasn't ready to let Linsey in on everything that was going on inside her mind. Mick and Lando both already had some information about what was bothering her, which was a huge risk. It was time to close off again and put her walls back up to make sure her mind and heart got some healing again.

'Hey, it's okay if you're not feeling alright. Is there anything I can do for you?' Linsey tried.

'Thanks, but everything is fine Linsey. Some sleep will do me well. I'm sure.'

There was some desperation and hurt to be seen in Linsey's eyes. 'Okay... Well... I'll let you get some rest. Just let me know when there's anything I can do for you, okay?'

Iris nodded. 'Yes, I will. Thank you, Linsey.'

Without saying anything else, Linsey turned around on her feet and walked out of the hallway, back to her own room that was located a floor higher in this hotel.

It was then that Iris realized that Linsey was another person that she had pushed away...