Your Choice

16 - The Outside

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Deciding you were too much of a coward to fight, you scrambled out of your bed to hide underneath it. The world around you felt blurry, as if a pair of glasses was nearby but just out of reach. You had been holding your breath without realizing it, and your vision was fading. 

Everything felt so distant, like your body existed but you weren't really there. The sound of a door unlocking echoed. Then frantic footsteps. All noises sounded like they were underwater, other than the pounding noise of your heart desperately trying to escape the confines of your chest and salty tears hitting the ground beneath you. 

Nothing around you made sense. All you could focus on was the lack of oxygen in your lungs, causing you to hyperventilate more to compensate for its absence. One moment you were under the bed, the next Pomni was trying to comfort you in her lap. You couldn't hear anything she was saying. Everything was muffled and your vision was a distant blur. Then another voice. Talking to  someone. Was it you? 

A hand gently touched your back and flashbacks of the dream flooded your mind like the tears that continued to flow. You flinched away, but then you felt a weird sensation pulsing from the aforementioned hand. It was electric yet almost soothing, and then everything went black. 

You gasped awake, jolting up into a sitting position, and a hand rushed to your head. You failed to piece together what happened. 

"Y/N! You're awake!" You turned towards the relieved, feminine voice. Pomni ran towards you, and you recognized your location as her room. "Are you feeling alright? I'm sorry I wasn't there sooner! Do you need my help?" 

Question out of question spilled out of Pomni's mouth, but you couldn't focus on any of hers as you were too busy trying to figure out your own. "What... happened?" You finally asked. She went quiet, and turned her gaze to the ground.

"I heard you scream... I was really concerned so I rushed to your room but you wouldn't respond. All I could hear were your distraught breaths and the sound of you choking back sobs. So I had Caine come and open your door... I found you under your bed and tried to comfort you, but when that didn't appear to be working, Caine made you fall asleep to try and handle the situation better. I guess it worked..."

Your cheeks turned red from embarrassment. You panicked often, but it was uncommon that it happened in front of somebody else. "I... Can we forget that ever happened?" you awkwardly requested. 

"Are you okay?" 

You hadn't expected Pomni to combat your question with one of her own, but burdening the poor jester with your problems was the last thing you had wanted to do. Even if the answer would be a lie. "Yeah, I just had a nightmare. Don't worry about me Poms." Your voice wavered, and she most definitely caught on but didn't want to pressure you further.

"Alright then... but please remember, if you ever need to talk to someone, I will always be here for you. And so will Ragatha." 

You forced a smile before responding, "Thanks..." The following silence hurt, but not nearly as much as the grief of dying repeatedly in your nightmares. So you endured the pain. And then another question popped up in your mind. "Pomni, how long was I asleep for?"

Pomni calculated in her head, which took a while as time was an anomaly in the circus, before answering, "Most likely around 30 minutes? Caine didn't want to put you out long, just long enough for you to be able to compose yourself."