Solar Knight: Shifting Sands (book 6)

chapter 35: heat is a helluva trip

Mid day.....
Scorching sun.....
Bleeding from a painful wound and left out to die by the man i served alongside with.....

My comrade has been taken in by the enemy and suaded by them...

Fear not though, lady Rehmea, i will prevail and help save this kingdom yet!

When i was in training, we were immediately taught self first aid and were always told of things to use in the wild and what to carry, prior to heading out on our exhibitions. I always carry a first aid kit to treat both minor and major wounds. The kit is small enough to tuck away in your coat pocket, and houses just enough to keep you alive, until you get proper treatment.

I would open the kit, carefully took off my shirt and got to work on my wound, being careful as to not move around so much.

As i treated myself, i would feel that my pants were soaked. Sure enough, i picked up my canteen and looked at it.

Punctured....
This bodes badly....

Thankfully, the cacti here are crossbred and engineered by anubis's finest and planted all over the desert as a means of emergency water! Unfortunately....this area is barren of them....

Once i had treated my wound, i decided to head in the general direction of the cursed ruins. Surely i will run into the group on the way there. I used my compass as a guide as i walked, knowing what direction the ruins were on the map, before i lost it.

On earth, there were a few rules of thumb i was taught.

Never drink from cacti, however, here they are safe to drink, since we cross bred a cacti from earth and another plant that produces water here, but were too delicate for heated climates.

Another rule, was to not touch or go near a camel carcass. They do not store water and are not safe to eat, even if desperate times call for desperate measures. They apparently build up so much gas and chemicals of sorts in their body enough to become the equivalent of a bomb! What's more, is that if you do survive the explosion, you're covered in filth that can definitely give you diseases.

One of the final points to remember is that, do not trust hallucinations. The mind can play tricks on you, unintentionally and out of desperation, and make you think you've found water, but it is only sand and dirt. The temptation to drink it is high, but if you do, you will put your body through severe pain, mainly through constipation and sickness....which is a death sentence out here.
.
.
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Hours went by.....
No sign of them.....
I'm starting to not feel the heat anymore.....
My sweat is almost nill.....
And I'm starting to feel....strange.

Oh Lady Rehmea.....help me....send me some aid quickly! It is not time for me to see you again, just yet!

Suddenly, i would vaguely see a shape in the distance.

It was a camel....with those stupid sunglasses San put on it....

Rosco....
San's personal camel....

When i got close....i seen...lady Rehmea petting the camel??

"Lady....Rehmea??" I said, rubbing my eyes.

"Oh, why simon! Fancy meeting you here!" She said.

"Wh....why are you here?? Are you a spectre??" I asked.

"No silly! I was just dubbing the new royal knight of mau! Rosco von Vigilant!" She said.

"Yo..." rosco said, tilting his glasses.

I was gobsmacked! Did he just talk and use modern slang??

"He is the coolest and most daring of them all! He has fought in over five thousand battles and rescued countless orphans of war! He radiates valor!" She said.

"You know it baby!" Rosco said with a wink.

"Wait wait wait, I am your knight in shining armor, not him!" I protested.

-OOOO MAJOR SIMP ALERT!!-

"Who said that??" I said, looking around.

"My dude...give it up, i have one billion power, you cannot defeat me. I have already stolen your drip too." Rosco said, as he was suddenly in my attire entirely.....as a camel could possibly wear.

-OWNED ON A WHOLE OTHER LEVEL!!-

"Hey, do not, wear my attire! That is my signature look!" I said, pointing at him.

"Hahaha, no your signature look is a nerdy clown, with a crush on an out of reach hotty!" He said.

I was suddenly wearing glasses, clown make up with nose, and in a button up shirt, slacks, and suspenders.

Rehmea would walk by me in a school girl outfit, smirking at me, before brushing her hair out of the way and vanishing.

-UH OH, NERD ALERT!!-
-OWNAGE COMBO!!-

"You lay waste in the sand and you spit at people! How is that attractive!? I am civilized and clean! You're but a beast!" I protested.

He suddenly walked out of a portable toilet and flushed.

"Excuse you, i wipe my ass like everyone else." He protested

(Audience laugh track)
(Credits rolls as sitcom music plays)

"Lady Rehmea thinks highly of me and i admire her so dearly! You cannot best me!!" I yelled.

"He is so cool, he was born with a skateboard and sunglasses!" Rehmea said.

I would then see rosco doing skateboard tricks in a nearby skate park.

-TOTALLY RADICAL!! SUPER COOL!!-

"I can do that too!" I protested.

"Do it then." He said, skating up from the pipe and sticking the landing.

"Well, i don't have one...." i said.

(Audience booing)

-WHAT A LOSER!!-

"here....I'm cool enough to share!" He said, kicking it to me.

(Audience cheers)

I would then step on it, but immediately slip as it was actually a...banana peel?

"Bruh can't stand up straight! He's tripping big time!!" He said laughing.

Him, Rehmea, and the voices would laugh hysterically at me....along with a commercial on sunscreen??

I got up and was furious to say the least.

"That is it! You cannot have lady rehmea!! She is mine you egotistical camel!!" I shouted.

"Then square up, SIMPle Simon!" He said as he put up his fists that were in boxing gloves.

I suddenly had gloves on and was in a boxing ring. I put up my fists and charged at the camel.

I was suddenly frozen in place.

-See this moron? He's trying to fight a camel with boxing gloves! What a weirdo! He's gonna be clobbered for sure! However, our brand of toothpaste will fight all of your plaque, bad breath, and other oral needs with "BRUSHIT!!" a fanily brand of highly effective toothpaste! Now back to your program!-

As soon as i was about to punch rosco, i was met with a headbutt and was knocked unconscious.