WARHAVEN

Fifty-Two

We made love all night and all day in the sunlight and in the moonlight. We couldn't keep our hands off one another as we explored our  bodies.

I had never felt more alive and comfortable with him. We had spent the last three days cooped up in his master suit. Food and drinks were delivered to us.

We ate, laughed, read books to one another. We bathed and showered together. We made love all over the room. It was pure bliss.
But our mating bond still hadn't snapped into place.

We were at a point where we had discussed disregarding the bond all together.

"So...is what Roman said true? About the...bonds?" August sighed deeply and rolled his eyes.

"Yes...I am sorry. I lied. I have heard that very rarely they can snap into place later but they almost always immediately snap into place."

"Oh. Well, what does it feel like? How would I know?"

"It's mostly felt by the man and it's up to him to pursue the woman, letting her know they are mates. If she accepts, the bond will be set and there is no breaking it."

I felt sadness come over me. Why were things designed this way? It put so much pressure on the man.

"And you've...never felt one for me?" I don't know what I was expecting him to say, I knew he hadn't.

"...No. I'm sorry. I tried so hard to get that feeling, I was so sure.."

"It's not your fault, August." My words were a quiet whisper against the crackling of the fire.

"It feels as though it is. I love you so much and I want to spend the rest of my existence by your side, and you by mine." He looked so sad in that moment, I kissed his cheek and smiled sadly at him.

"It's alright, but...you mentioned at the prty that I am your soon to be Queen. First off, you didn't ever ask me, and second, won't people be upset that I am not your mate?"

"We can disregard the bond, live off our love as humans do, but we would have to lie to the kingdom and the council." Augustus explained while drawing circles on my bare back.

We laid tangled in the sheets and wrapped around one another.

"Why is it such a big deal?" I sighed, turning my head and meeting his beautiful eyes.

"As a King, I cannot marry anyone but my mate. For the stability of the kingdom, it is required."

"But, I thought the sire bond replaced that?"

"Well, it does, it's just very frowned upon. They won't have any real respect for you because they will think you were forced into the role. They won't believe your passion."
I gave him a pointed look. "Well, I was forced into it, August. We don't have to lie. We can explain that I have come to love things here and want to do whatever I can to be a good Queen."

"Do you...love it here?" His brows furrowed and he pushed a stray hair from my face. I could sense that he felt uneasy. So I lied. I lied because I would force myself to love it eventually, for him.

"Well...yes. There are things that I do love, there are also things I am not used to. But I can learn to love things here. I know it." I sighed, "I just want to be more hands on, I hate feeling like people are doing everything for me."

"I get it. You just need to look at the big picture. You are helping me run the whole kingdom. Their duties are to help you so you can help me."

"So, I'm like your assistant?" I raised a brow to him.

He chuckled, "Honestly, the true role of a Queen is to supply heirs..."

I rolled my eyes. "So I don't have duties, I just have sex and push out and raise babies?"
Another chuckle from him, "You would plan parties and charm guests. Grow and raise babies. Oversee some servant duties. Support me. That's pretty much it."

"Oh..." I didn't know how I felt about that. I knew that I wanted to do more with my life than raise babies and look pretty. All respect to women who raise babies. And I knew I wanted kids, but I wanted more from life as well.

I hated that I wouldn't be looked at as Augustus' partner but more of his pet. I didn't have the heart to tell him, but I loved him so much. Could I accept this life if it meant I could be with him?

"Just think it over. No rush. I still have to plan a beautiful proposal..." He buried his face into my neck and kissed all over it.

I didn't say anything else. I did have a lot of thinking to do. I had decided to put it off, at least for a while. It was a lot of pressure.

If I denied his proposal, would that mean I couldn't stay here? And what would that mean for our sire bond?

I also didn't agree with the role of Queen. I seemed like a good life...just boring. Not the life I envisioned for myself. I wanted to travel and meet many different people, try different foods, and learn many new things.

I never envisioned being with a King would hinder that, in fact I imagined it would help me reach those goals, not that that was the only reason why I was with August.

It was a lot of pressure. I had no idea how to decide. I wasn't sure I was ready to accept the consequences of saying yes...the possibilities that may open up for me if I said...no.