Fake (Hetalia: FrUkUs)

.26.

In the next hour, he tended to my injuries, cleaning away the blood, damn bastard forced me to shower considering my whole body might as well have been injured, pulling out any stray pieces of glass and mirror, and disinfecting and wrapping the wounds.

"I feel like a mummy," I muttered as he handed me a pair of sweat pants, shirt and sweater.

He chuckled, "You look like one."

He brought me back out to the main room of his apartment, and forced me to sit on the couch.

"Afraid you've lost a bit of blood," He said, "You shouldn't drive for a while." He threw up his hands, "It's amazing you got here without getting in an accident."

"I was slow," I muttered.

He sighed, "Still, it was dangerous." I shrugged. He stared at me for a moment before going over to the stereo. He came back over as it began to play music and held out his hand to me.

"What?" I asked, looking at his hand, and then up at him. He rolled his eyes.

"You're supposed to take me hand."

"Why?"

He groaned and grabbed my hand, forcing me to my feet and catching me as I wobbled slightly. He grabbed my hands, and smiled as he lead me to the middle of his living room. I wanted to just pull from his grasp and go sit back down, but I stopped for two reasons.

One, he had a hard grip and I was rather weak at the moment. And two, I didn't really want to. As he positioned us to dance, I couldn't find the will power to try and pull back from his grip. So, I let it happen. The sun had set, the snow was swirling outside the window, and the lights were off aside from a lamp in the corner that gave off a soft yellow light.

He lead me around the apartment, one hand holding own, while the other held my waist. My free hand was holding onto the back of his shirt as my arm was tucked under his. My head laid on his shoulder and my eyes were closed as he rested his head aside mine.

I could feel his breath against my neck as he whispered along with the words of the song, and felt as he rubbed his thumb along my lower back in circles.

I opened my eyes, looking out the large windows at the the snow encrusted city and all its glittering glory. it was framed by a dark sky and pale ground, the lights crisp as they shined in the cold night.

The thought of the frozen world outside made Francis' hold around me that much warmer. Suddenly, he intertwined our fingers and raised his voice an octave, but continuing in a whisper.

"Take my hand, take my whole life too"

"'Cause I can't help falling in love with you"

He began to slow our dance and we came to a stop in front of the frosty windows.

"Cause I can't help falling in love with you"

He raised his head, but didn't release his hold on me. He met my eyes and raised our interlaced hands and between us, using the back of his to brush along my cheek.

"But I can't help falling in love with you"

In that moment, I knew nothing else. There was no sound, other than our breaths. there was no light, aside from his eyes. There was nothing, except the two of us.

And, I couldn't bring myself to hate that. I couldn't. At that moment, I wanted to be there, and I wanted to be with him, and I wanted him to hold me. I knew I shouldn't, I was in love with Arthur and that fact was indisputable, but I couldn't help myself.

There had to be something wrong with me.

He said nothing, as we stood there staring at each other. I wanted to speak, say something, but found I couldn't. Saying anything at all would ruin... whatever this was.

Then he moved, ever so subtly, but the intention was clear. He lowered his lips slowly to my own, his eyes darting to my lips, and my breath sped up. Was this- could I..?

"No," The word left my lips just as he was about to kiss me. He stopped. "No," I whispered again, and stepped back and out of his arms. Suddenly, everything came back. Cold settled into my body as his arm slipped from my waist and his hand released mine. The music entered my ears as well as the sirens coming from the streets below. We were no longer the only two. Instead, it was just me.

"I'm sorry," I said as tears stung my eyes. Why did I have to cry? Why did this have to happen? Telling him no was the right thing to do, so why did it hurt so much? "But, I love Arthur, and I can't do this to him."

I watched as his expression, which had previously been sad due to the rejection, turned to one of pain.

"I'm sorr-" I cut off and swallowed the lump in my throat. He was crying. I held back my own tears, and left his apartment.

Once again, I was running from the problem. But, was he the problem?

Or, was I?

~

Francis had been right about something; I was in no condition to drive. So, I stood in the snow outside, staring at my truck and debating whether or not I wanted to call Arthur to come and pick me up. I honestly, wasn't fond of the idea. So, I sucked in a breath and began to walk in the gathering snow. It was better, not by much, than driving.

I walked into the city, where it would be at least a bit warmer, and along the streets with my head bowed. What the fuck was wrong with me? I grabbed at my arms through the sweatshirt, feeling warmth trickle along my arms before quickly turning cold. Fuck everything.

I walked through the city, switching my direction to the lake in a split moments decision. Maybe it wouldn't be totally frozen yet. I was. I chuckled at the thought.

I walked in silence, staring down at my feet, and only my feet. As I was nearing the park, my phone went off. I fished it from my coat pocket, and saw it was Arthur. I hesitated, before hanging up and stuffing it away. It buzzed again almost instantly, but I simply hung up again.

By now I was at the park and my breath was cold in my throat as I walked to the beach. I was right, the lake wasn't frozen, and I walked to its very edge, letting the water barely brush along my feet. As I stared out at the dark waters, letting my thoughts get washed away with the waves and sink to their bottom, my phone began buzzing again. I couldn't avoid him forever.

"Hey, Art."

"Alfred, thank God! Where the bloody hell are you?" Hearing his voice, something inside me broke. My eyes teared up and I fell to my knees in the water. I couldn't help but start sobbing.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry," I apologized repeatedly, "I'm sorry, Arthur."

"Alfred, what's the matter? Have you done something? Where are you?"

"I'm sorry."

"Alfred, just tell me where you are."

"I love you, Arthur."

But, I love Francis, too.