Fake (Hetalia: FrUkUs)

.32.

That same day, it was decided that we would travel around town- revisit old hang outs, find old friends, and see what was new. Mostly, it was for Ivan, who was eager to see how everything was the same, and how everything was different. Also, Chun-Yan was more than excited for her first trip to the states.

Around seven we all came back home, but Chun-Yan insisted on seeing the park after dark. Ivan had had a few drinks and decided it was better to stay home, so Francis offered to take her. Once they left, Arthur got a call from his Mom saying his Aunt was back in the hospital and he needed to baby-sit Peter.

So, at the end of the day, it was Ivan and I once more.

We were hanging out in the living room, sitting on opposite ends of the couch, me scrolling my tumblr, and him... thinking. I was too tired for that.

"Today was fun," He said suddenly," So many things are different now. Yet, somehow, it is as I remember."

I closed my phone and set it on the table. I tucked my feet up to my ass and looked over at him, resting my head in my hand.

"How so?"

"The city," He explained, "it is always moving, always changing. And yet, it is exactly as I remembered. Mrs. Cloveland is still running her restaurant, that street performer is still dancing, that awful graffiti is still on the comic stores side; it's all exactly as I remembered."

I hummed before saying, "Yet, so much has changed."

He looked away from me, and I realized we had been making eye contact through the entire conversation. He looked back suddenly with a smirk.

"Speaking of change, you and Arthur are dating now, yes?"

"Yeah," I smiled suddenly, "We began dating... It'll be two months January 1st."

"That's special," Ivan chuckled. "And Francis is your friend, yes?"

"He's-" I hesitated. Not because of the fact that it was Francis, but because I was dating him and Arthur. Then I remembered the conversation I had with Ivan.

"Do you think it's possible to love more than one person?"

"Of course."

"Do you remember when I asked you.... about loving more than one person?"

He stayed silent for a bit and turned his head away. After a few moments of silence he turned back, but the smile wasn't on his face anymore.

"You are dating both Arthur and Francis?"

I was a bit unnerved by his sudden change in demeanor.

"Yes," I answered honwstly. His brow furrowed and I sat up straighter. "Ivan is something wrong?"

He looked at me, in the eyes, and smiled wide.

"Of course not. I am happy for you!"

"Don't lie," I warned, "Ivan, don't try and lie to me. What is it?"

Again, he glanced away and remained silent for an unnerving amount of time before turning back.

"Will you get mad?"

"What?"

"Will you get mad at what I say?"

"How can I know if I don't know what you're talking about?"

"I don't want to fight." He even sounded worried, and he was picking at his scarf- a telltale sign he was thinking something- good or bad- that troubled him.

"I don't either, so let's talk instead."

He took a large breath.

"Do you remember when you asked me about whether I believe someone can love two or more people?"

"Yeah," How could I forget?

"I thought... I thought you were referring to... us." It took me a moment to process his words, but he kept talking, speeding up in obvious nervousness. "You've always liked, even loved, Arthur, it's so obvious. But I thought when you asked about loving another, I thought you were referring to our relationship. And then that day, I said I loved you and you said it back, and I just thought that-"

"Ivan," I reached over and placed a hand on his arm, trying to get him to release his death grip on his scarf, "Ivan calm down. Please." He took a deep breath but I could feel him shaking. I sat back and held out my arms. He hesitated before leaning over and laying his head against my chest. I could feel his heart beat as I closed my arms around him and rested my head on his.

I remained silent listening as his breath slowly evened, became ragged, and then evened again. He was hurting himself with thoughts, I knew it.

"Ivan, what I said that day, I meant. I do love you. I always have, and I feel I always will. You made me so happy, you made my world expand, you made me different and better." I felt his heart quicken and let out a breath into his hair, "And if that love fades into friendship, and if that friendship fades into memory, I will never forget. I won't forget the love, I won't forget our time together, and apart, I won't forget you. I loved you, I love you, and in the future, I hope it remains in whatever form it takes."

It was silent, and his breathing changed. I remained still, listening, and quickly lifted my head, "Ivan, are you-"

"Nyet, don't look." He turned his face into my chest so his voice was muffled, "let me lay here."

I did. I sat and pet his hair, saying nothing, and just watching the fire place. It felt odd, being with Ivan after so long, and here I was, holding him in my arms.

I don't know how long we sat there, but it was long enough for him to begin dozing off while I watched him. He had shifted at one point, so he now laid between my legs, his face buried in my stomach, but his face turned so I could hear his soft breaths. One arm was between my waist and the couch, and the other was curled to his chest.

I sighed as I watched him, when I heard the front door open. I looked up as voices, loud voices flitted in, and made a quick shushing sound before falling silent again.

Chun-Yan poked her head around the corner and when she saw me she waved. When I pointed at my lap, her smile twisted into a confused pout and she walked forward to see what I was referring to. When she saw Ivan, she placed a hand over her mouth to stop her laugh and pulled out her phone, taking and quick photo, or ten from different angles, and going upstairs with and bunch of bags I hadn't noticed. Apparently her and Francis did a little more than sight seeing.

Next was Francis, and it didn't take him as long to notice Ivan. He looked for a few moments, and I felt my heart hammer as his gaze turned to my own.

"Goodnight, Alfred," He said, and smiled as he walked over and kissed my forehead. It was an abrupt departure, but I reached out and took his hand anyway, holding it.

"Goodnight, Francis." He squeezed my hand before dropping it and leaving.

As I watched him leave, my mind suddenly flashed to the same image of my mother walking out that same door months earlier. My father leaving us both late one night and never returning. And Mattie. Walking out that door one morning, and never coming back.