Ordinary | ✓

Chapter 33

"Shit. Shit. Shit. Lucas what do we do? I can't go through that kind of pain again, I just can't."

Lucas's look matches mine, one of panic. If his mother is coming back I'm done for. I'd sooner welcome death than be tortured by her again. 

My whole body trembles. The footsteps continue to get louder. Alarm bells are going off in my ears. What can I do?

Lucas's struggling becomes more intense. He is trying harder than ever to escape so he can help me. He's shaking too. Terror is radiating off of both of us.

Holy mother of fuck what do I do? Adrenaline rushes through me to try to help me escape but it's still no use, these bounds are unbreakable. When I am certain there is no escape I just freeze. There's no point wasting my energy. I'm doomed.

I close my eyes. I'm not going to focus on anything, I'm just going to clear my mind. Deep breaths Luna.

You're calm, you're safe, you're happy, nothing is going wrong in your life. You're at school, sitting around your usual table at lunch talking with Steph, Lucas and Tyler. You're chatting about random things and having a great time laughing with your friends.

If only this were true. Instead I'm tied down by bounds that are impossible to break. I have no clue who Stephanie really is. I don't have the faintest idea of what Tyler is thinking and doing. And Lucas is tied up as well, terrified just like me. I doubt any of us are happy and laughing. I wish that I could go back to a few weeks ago, sadly that's impossible. I just have to accept that my life is this complicated, messed up, shit hole. 

I was never supposed to be here. My siblings all have magic but then there's me: alone, isolated, unwanted, forgotten and disgraceful.

Sometimes I wish I was never born. It would have saved people so much hassle. I'm miserable anyway so what does it matter. My life is insignificant, it's not like I do anything with it. I'm a waste of space and a burden on everyone. Everyone would just be better off without me.

No! I can't end it all, I'm stronger than that. I have to fight. Nothing in life comes for free. I can do something with my life and make it worthwhile. Why else would I want to do medicine? Even saving one life would give my life purpose. Helping people, that's what I want to do. However I can't do that until I help myself.

You're strong Luna.

I can make it, I will. I will endure all the torture I go through with my head held high. It might hurt like a bitch but I'm a survivor. My life is what I make of it. In the end things will work out, I'm sure of it.

I'm strong.

I can do this.

I will never give up.

She won't break me.

I will survive this, I have to.

I kept repeating these words in my head, like my own personal mantra.

This hag will not be my end, that's all I know. I've no idea how I will evade death but I will. I'm Luna Krystal Praecantatio and I never give up.

I hear the footsteps getting louder. I gulp, fear being to show again. I can't let it consume me. I will not be frightened of her, she won't win, I'm damn stubborn so I'm not changing my mind either.

Clip clop, clip clop, clip clop.

Clip clop, clip clop, clip clop, louder this time.

Clip clop, clip clop, clip clop, louder still.

I repeat my mantra. Fear is starting to take control but I won't let it. I have to believe in myself, I have to believe that I can win. If I don't think I can I won't achieve. The first step to overcoming something is believing in yourself. Stephanie always told me this, I thought it was total bullshit at the time but maybe she was right.