what tomorrow brings.

xi. for a moment, i thought i was okay.

xi. FOR A MOMENT, I THOUGHT I WAS OKAY.

to be more than skin and bones. meaning engraved into your name, a voice loud enough to watch skyscrapers come tumbling down into hands that have been used and never repaired. set fire behind dead eyes that are only ever glossed over with pain, because of pain, for the comfort of pain- no longer wanting to feel numb but reaching out for the blade anyways. wait no, break the blade in half, bury it with all the unkept promises and broken past. broken, pain filled past - set fire to something not there, the monster under your bed that has been your only friend. listen to him play the violin strings, pluck at your veins, feed on your lifeless corpse. hide in between coathangers in your closet, when will the feeling of acceptance be more wanted than loneliness? cradle broken pieces of your soul in your broken hands, break apart the idea of love and feel it rip you to shreds. be left with silence, the gnawing of static, feel empty, emptier than this pain, than these broken pieces.

set fire to the thought of ever being okay. there is no such thing when depression is the monster under your bed, the silence in the air, the pain behind your broken soul. after it all, drown it all away in the ocean of negligence and

feel nothing again.