Dear Pat

Letter 14

Dear Pat,

I don't think I'm going to send you this letter. I think I'm writing it to let the emotions flow before I talk to someone. My friends. Meghana tomorrow. But first, I need to write it all out.

Today, I came home at the usual time. Dada had made hot chai as it was a breezy day. Ah, Pat! It was nice to look out the window and feel the cool winds as I drank tea. Then I realized that it was a great night for a walk. So I set the empty glass aside and headed towards the door. I opened the door and was about to walk down the stairs when I saw Tanmay climbing them. He brightened as he saw me.

He went, "Hey! Where are you going?"

I went slightly red in the face today, Pat. He looked slightly different today. I looked closer to notice that he had a stubble. And it looked so good on him. I think I didn't tear my eyes away until he had climbed all the stairs and was standing right in front of me.

I kept looking. I must have looked like an idiot. I was a little tongue-tied. He must have noticed. So he touched his jaw and said, "This right? It's for the play. I need it to look a little...unkempt?"

Unkempt was the last thing he was looking though. Hot, sure. Ugh, I was in even more trouble now, Pat.

I then tried to change the topic. I pointed towards the stairs behind him and said, "There's a nice breeze today...I thought I'd take a walk."

He shook his head and said, "No, no. I know this breeze. I know something better than a walk. Come with me." And just like that, he extended his hand towards me. I looked down at it and turned another shade of red. I took a deep breath to reach out and clasp it. His fingers wrapped around my palm.

Oh boy.

He tugged me towards the stairs but not the ones leading downstairs. We were going upstairs.

A few flights of stairs later, we were opening the door to the terrace. Why didn't I think of this? Cool breeze, night time? Of course, I should have gone to the terrace. Then again, I'm glad I didn't think of it first because otherwise I wouldn't have this ridiculously good looking fellow for company.

We made our way to the ledge that was overlooking the night sky. There was a tree that branched its way into the balcony. And right under this branch was a little bench. He led me to the bench and we sat down together. Yes, we were still holding hands, Pat.

I smiled and took in a deep breath of the cool, crisp night air. I shut my eyes and relaxed my back against the wall. A few moments later, I opened my eyes and looked at the night sky. There weren't too many stars but the odd one or two still twinkled. There was no moon either. Just the terrace light.

I then noticed his gaze on me. I turned my head and looked at him. He broke into a small smile and asked, "Like it?"

I chuckled and said, "Love it. It's beautiful. I love everything about this night!" I drew both my hands to give myself a hug against the cool breeze when I realized that his hand was still locked in mine. I looked down at our hands and inhaled sharply. Then, I quickly let it go and stood up in a flourish. Casually, I said, "Do you come here often?"

I made my way to another ledge looking at the sky. My heart was hammering against my chest. What...why was I feeling so light, yet so intense? Ugh. I just sat down in a heap on the floor, leaning against the wall.

Tanmay was still on the little bench. He looked at me and shot up an eyebrow as though in question. I just shrugged and smiled. I then looked up at the sky again and sighed.

A few moments later, he walked over and sat down on the floor next to me. He asked, "Did you even hear what I said?"

I chuckled and shook my head. I looked straight ahead so as to not look at him directly. I focused on his shoe and spoke to it.

"What did you say?"

He repeated, "I said yes, I do. This place is nice and quiet. Helps me calm myself down."

I frowned and asked his shoe again, "Why calm?"

He kept quiet. I looked up at him to see why he wasn't saying anything. He was looking at his shoe now. That's a popular shoe clearly, Pat.

He then shook his head as though he was thinking about something and wanted to shake it off. He smiled lightly and said, "Nothing. It's just nice and peaceful, you know?"

I nodded along. Clearly, he didn't want to talk about something. So I didn't push it either. I was just about to refocus my gaze when he turned around and looked at me. And the smile reappeared. That smile looked happy, Pat. It reached all the way to his eyes.

I think it was the smile. Or maybe the eyes. They were so warm against the cool backdrop. Or maybe the light shoulder nudge he gave me right before he broke into that smile. It was one of familiarity. I don't know what it was. It could have been one of those things. Or all of them.

I took another deep breath, raised myself a little to meet his eye level and kissed him lightly. It was only a peck. It lasted for a second. And my eyes were closed for that one second. But I felt...warm inside. As though all the adrenaline had just turned into honey.

I looked into his eyes. I didn't know if he liked me back. I was afraid. I just knew how I felt for him at that moment. I think all those feelings showed up on my face coupled with nervousness.

He looked surprised when it happened. He then turned himself fully to look at me properly. Then, out of nowhere, he reached out, drew me in and kissed the daylights out of me.

If I thought the first kiss was magical, this one was outer-worldly. It felt like my stomach tripped and fell over its own feet only to fly. His hands slipped from my face to my back. I reached out and placed my hands on his chest. It was hammering away...just like mine! The butterflies were everywhere this time.

Slowly, he pulled back and looked at me. I smiled and looked right back. I then raised my hand and touched his face. He broke into a classic 'Tanmay special' smile. In excitement, I turned around and sat to face him. I said, "Hey! I just felt you smile!"

He laughed at that and shook his head to say, "You..." He couldn't get the words he wanted, I guess. So, he just picked up my hand and locked his fingers with mine. He then drew it closer and kissed my hand. I smiled so wide, I thought my face would hurt. I then leaned over and lay my head on his shoulder to enjoy the night sky with this beautiful boy.

All my love,

L.

P.S. Aw who am I kidding? I am sending this to you. :D

Author's Note: Hi guys! How's it going? :)

So, I know it's been a while. Again. I was struggling to write the next chapter. Which is when I realized that I was at the wrong juncture in the story. Thankfully, we are back on track now. :D

Hope you guys enjoyed this one. I've had a very ugh week and writing this was the high point of my week. :)

Hope you all have a lovely remainder of January!

S.