raising hope | s.m

♡Forty-Five♡

Maya

Shawn has been happier since he came off of the meds. I feel that he's been distant though. It's been about a month since he came off of them and I've been checking up on him.

"How do you feel?" I ask, as his arms wrap around my waist.

"Good, why?" he whispers. I turn to him. My arms rest on the back of his neck.

"You've been distant lately." He kisses my forehead.

"I know and I'm sorry," he apologizes. He rests his forehead against mine.

"You're not on anything are you?" I question. He shakes his head. "Okay. I want to know that you know you can trust me."

"I do trust you, baby girl, I trust you more than I trust myself."

"I love you." I pull him into me. He buries his head in my neck. I hug him tightly.

"I love you more."

"Not possible," I murmur to him.

"It is." I just let him hold me.

Shawn

She holds me tight and I breathe in her scent.

"I don't want to lose you," she whispers. Her voice breaks. My hand moves up and down her back comfortingly.

"Hey," I coo, "you're not going to."

"But there have been so many times where I thought I was going to." I kiss her temple.

"I'm still here, honey."

"We've been through so much," she whispers. A sniffle interrupts her. "But we made it."

"Yes we did, baby girl. Yes, we did."

I wait with my head in my hands. The lobby is quiet and I feel out of place.

"Shawn Mendes?" Someone calls. Looking up, I see my old therapist from a couple of years ago. Standing, I follow him to his office. "So, it's been a while, how have you been?"

"Um, it's been okay."

"I hear you're not fighting anymore, why's that?" He questions, crossing his leg over the other.

"I found a reason to stop."

"Oh? What?"

"A girl. Her name is Maya."

"Are you still with her?" He questions, scribbling on his clipboard.

"Yeah, it's been over a year-and-a-half now."

"Well, that's good that you found someone to keep you out of that life. If you're doing good, then why are you here?"

"I got re-addicted to Fexopirin recently." His eyes widen slightly.

"They're working on making that illegal in America. How did you get it?"

"My brother used to get it for me. I had a spare, unopened bottle and I took some," I admit.

"How come?"

"I kept having these dreams about her dying."

"How do they go exactly?" He inquires.

"Well, she's fine at first and then, it goes wrong."

"And you took the Fexopirin to make them stop?" He reviews. I nod. "Are you still on the Fexopirin?"

"No, sir." He chuckles.

"Then why are you here. I assume she's the one who got you off of it too?"

"Yes, sir. I don't want to get re-addicted to it."

"Shawn, if you wanted to be addicted then you wouldn't be here right now. She stopped you at the right time. I don't think you wanted to go on them in the first place but you'd rather stop having the bad dreams." I nod. "It seems like you're okay right now. Keep in contact with me in case you feel the need to go back on them."

"Yes, sir. Thank you," I thank. He nods and as I'm exiting his office, I hear him murmur something.

"They need to hurry up and make that damn medication illegal." I could not agree more.

When I get back home, Maya is sitting on the couch with Hope standing on her knees. Her belly has started showing some. I sit next to her and kiss her cheek.

"Daddy," Hope coos, reaching out to me. Happily, I take her in my arms and bounce her lightly.

"Where'd you go?" Maya asks, standing and walking into the kitchen.

"I saw a therapist," I admit. I'm tired of trying to keep secrets from her. She peeks out from in the kitchen.

"How come?"

"I wanted to make sure I wouldn't go back on the meds." She walks back out with a bowl of fruit in her hands. She places it on the coffee table and sits next to me.

"I'm glad you're trying to stay off of them. Do you want to go back on them?" She asks, taking my hand. Hope climbs off of my lap and grabs a chunk of watermelon from the bowl of fruit. I smile at her as she gnaws on the fruit. Maya squeezes my hand and I remember the question she asked.

"I don't, but there's an itch for me to go back on them." I lay my head on her shoulder.

"Hey, you came off of them before and you can do it again." She kisses my shoulder and I rub her side. "I believe in you."

"That's all I need," I smile. "We should go out today."

"Where would you like to go?"

"The park. Then dinner." 

"Sounds good to me," she smiles, "is Hope coming?"

"Of course," I reply, kissing her forehead.

Maya

He lays out a blanket and I place Hope in the center.

"Isn't this where we had our first date?" I question, laughing lightly. He smiles at me before kneeling. Any breath I had left my chest. When he looks back up at me, he has a ring pressed between his thumb and index finger. Tears well up in my eyes. I know he asked me and I said yes but this is so much more.

"Maya, you are the light in my darkness. The eye of the storm that is my life. From the moment I saw you, I knew you were too good for me. You just made my life better. When December came and the things happened, I'd never been so furious with anyone. You handled it better than I did. You handled everything better than I did. I genuinely do not have the words to explain how you saved me. Please, never leave me alone. Maya Grace Young, will you do me the honors and take my last name?" He speaks.

"Yes," I smile, a tear slips down my cheek. "The answer has been yes."

He stands and pulls me into him. Hope claps next to us. He kisses my head. 

"Maya Mendes has quite the ring to it," he smiles.

"It does," I whisper, holding him tightly, "it really does."

Hi, it's your favorite procrastinator here! My Mac won't let me do the hearts anymore... I don't know what I did. Anyways, the next chapter will be the last one until the sequel. Thank you all for enjoying this story so much! It means the world that you took the time out of your day to read this! 

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