"Steve, Steve, please wake up," Tony whimpered, he started scratching his wrists.
"Hey, babe, what's wrong?" Steve asked when he finally woke up.
"I don't know, I'm just... In pain. I don't know, please help me," he whispered the last part.
"What hurts?" Steve asked, panic now clear in his voice.
Tony grasped the sides of his head with one hand on each ear, "everything, please help."
Steve pulled the smaller man into a hug, and whispered 'it's ok' a few times into his ear until he thought he was calm. But then Tony got up and started pacing and scratching his wrists, very hard. Steve got up and grabbed his wrists to stop him from scratching himself anymore.
"Baby, I need you to tell me what you're feeling," The blonde soothingly whispered.
"I feel regret," the billionaire answered truthfully.
"Why do you feel that way?" Steve questioned.
"I feel regret for making you deal with me instead of letting you live your own life."
"Tony, I love you with every piece of me, I don't look at it like having to deal with you, I look at it like getting to help you, you know that."
"I want to get rid of myself and free you, please let me hurt myself," Tony looked pleadingly into Steve's eyes, tears forming and threatening to fall.
"No, I would never let you hurt yourself, Tony, ever. Why would you want to hurt yourself?"
"You shouldn't have to deal with this. Just go back to sleep and let me hurt myself, please," Steve saw the desperation, and pain, in his eyes.
The smaller man attempted to get loose from Steve's grip but of course failed.
"Tony..." Steve whispered.
"I'm just a burden to you and to everyone. I literally created weapons and sold them to terrorists. I even created a weapon that made a whole in my chest!" Tony was now yelling.
"Tony, please no, hurt me instead," Steve said, tears now forming in his eyes. It hurt him so much when his husband got like this.
"Steve no," he was now whispering.
"It won't hurt me, and if I get a scratch it will be gone by morning."
"I can't Steve, I don't want to hurt you," Tears were now streaming down his face at the thought of hurting his husband.
"Tony, it won't hurt me, please just take all your desperation and pain out on me," he pleaded, moving Tony's hands towards his chest.
Tony started it to claw at it but then stopped and looked up into the taller man's eyes. Steve nodded for him to continue. He started scratching faster and putting more pressure. Steve could tell how much pain he was in by how much pressure he was putting into it. Then he started punching rapidly at his stomach, this went on for a few minutes until he finally collapsed into Steves arms and broke down.
"Shh, honey, it's ok, just breath... In... And out.... And in.... And out... It's ok, I'm ok, you're ok," Steve whispered, stroking Tony's hair soothingly.
"I hurt you, Steve, I hurt you," he whispered, looking into Steve's eyes, "I can't believe I hurt you," he rubbed a hand over where he scratched.
"It's okay, baby, it's okay."
"No, it's not, oh my god, I can't believe I hurt my own fucking husband, how could I do this," tears now streaming rapidly down his face.
The blonde cupped his husbands face, forcing him to look at him, he then kissed the tears away. He led them back to the bed and laid down, soothing his husband down with him and wrapping his arms protectively around him, "you will never be a burden, ever, do you understand me?"
Tony just slightly nodded.
"I love you so much, we both have our problems, but we cope with them and with each other, that's how we get through them, together. Don't ever think that you're not good enough. You're the greatest thing to ever happen to me, and I am lucky to have you," he kissed the top of Tony's head.
"I love you too, and I'm sorry," he practically whimpered.
"It's not your fault, you can't control it, now let's try to get some sleep, and if you're up for it we can talk about it in the morning, ok?"
"Ok."
They drifted off to sleep, both reassured that the other would be there when they woke up.
