My Human

Chapter 20

I stared at the dropper with racing anxiety. He said just one drop in each eye that's all I had to do, but why was I freaking out? I held the dropper above my right eye with a trembling hand, looking down the tube like staring down the barrel of a gun.

"I can't do it!" I moaned in exasperation. All I could think about was what could go wrong, like if it blinded me. Had I always been this worrisome? I wished I knew.

I took several deep breaths, trying to ease my nerves.  I knew they were all waiting for me and that only created more pressure. A knock at my door only confirmed it.

"Come in," I grumbled.  To my surprise, Xan entered.

I remained silent.  I didn't know how to react around him now.

"Are you having some trouble?" He asked.

I simply nodded, cheeks burning in embarrassment. Why couldn't I just do this simple task? 

"Perhaps I can help?" He offered.

I hesitated.  Did I even want his help?

"N-no. I can do it," I asserted.

He nodded, taking a seat on my bed. "Then I will remain here," he replied with a slight smirk. "For moral support."

I rolled my eyes.  Now I had to do it.  I couldn't let his smug face see me fail.  The drive fueled me and again I held the dropper above my eye and tried to force myself to use it. I squeezed the dropper but panicked at the last second, missing my eye completely.

I could hear Xan trying to stifle his laughter and I glared at him.

"Its not funny," I sneered.  "I hate touching my eyes or having anything touch my eyes! It's so gross."

Xan lacked sympathy and only laughed harder. The wide smile still painted his face while he stood and drew close to me. A gentle blue haze engulfed him as his hand caressed my cheek gently.

"No," I whimpered, feeling the calm wash over my racing nerves.  His thumb stroked my cheek ever so gently, sending both a tranquility and chill through me. 

"Let me help you," he soothed, taking the dropper in his other hand and holding it above my eye.  His touch left me tranced, feeling nothing more than a delighted daze.

I watched as the drop fell delicately into my eye and only serenity remained within. The cool drop spread over my eye as Xan swiftly dropped another in the remaining one.

"Perfect," he murmured, watching the droplets form into lenses.

He looked into my eyes and I saw his change. The amusement they held now shifted to a more serious tone.

"Aeris," he breathed. "What you heard before...I didn't mean it."

I narrowed my eyes at him, trying to express my anger but the weight of his soothing overpowered it.  I struggled to reach up and press his hand away from me, feeling the calm dissipate with its removal.

"Then why did you say it?" I pressed, feeling the surge of anger again.

He looked down at the ground, as if searching for the words before returning his gaze to mine.

"Torians aren't suppose to...feel things. It's not that we aren't capable it's just that there is a weakness in letting your emotions take over you or lead any part of you life. We are suppose to refrain and depend on logical, clear thinking."

I crossed my arms and pressed my lips together in disgust. I hated that. How could an entire realm of beings have such a demented view of mental health?