It has always been you!

Chapter 28

Like every other girl, I've also dreamt of this moment. I've always fantasized it to be like fairytales but little did I knew that fairytales were never real. Somewhere from blushing at the thought of getting married and getting the real meaning of sacrifices, I grew up.

But now, this was it. My mind played mama's words on repeat.
"Aleyha, you know we all love you. I believe whatever is happening is all Allah's will; it is the best for you. Shayad jo kuch hua aur ab jo ho raha hai wohi tumharey haq me behtreen hai. I have full faith on my Allah and my prayers. From tomorrow, you'll be someone else's, he will have every right on you and you'll have every right on him. It would be best for you if you forgot all that has happened and start this new journey with loyalty and honesty. Let your mind and heart be only of the one who is soon going to tie you in a beautiful halal relation that is greater and above than everything else. And I believe, no feeling, no emotion, is stronger than the three words of nikkah which, you'll see, will eventually make you forgot everything that has happened and your only happiness and comfort would be your husband. You'll look back and laugh at your silliness. Just always remember that Allah is the greatest planner of all. Be happy and try your best to keep Umer happy."

I was going to start a new life- a life where I will have to make a lot of compromises; where someone else would have a right on my life, too; where I would have to do things that I've never done; where I'll have to smile even when I am sad; where I'll have to face situations that I have never experienced; and above all, I'll have to settle down in a place full of unknown people and new relationships.
I have never thought about these things before because I never knew I would be getting married to someone else other than... I closed my eyes shut at the thought, shaking them away.
Taking a deep breath, I opened my eyes; gazing at the mirror in front of me. My kohl laden eyes scrutinized the girl in the mirror, adorned in a beautiful deep red lehenga with a jhumar pinned at the side of her head and a long sath lara dangling from her neck. Her eyes travelled towards her henna clad hands with bangles covering half of her hands. Her face, which was covered with layers of makeup, hid away the emotions she was going through but her eyes, if someone would have looked deeply in them they would have expressed a story of their own. A tear escaped and trailed all along her cheek as she gave a once over at the girl in front of her, mocking at herself. It was her nikkah today. She should have been delighted, laughing at her friends jokes, blushing at their teasing and smiling secretly as she thought about her soon to be husband but it was nothing like that instead there was a storm brewing inside her, wrecking her nerves.

Fisting my red lehenga in my hands, I swallowed the lump in my throat and blinked away my tears.
Meri qismat- meri soon to be saans ko bhi yehi colour pasand jo main bilkul bhi pehenna nahin chahti thi kyun ke...
Get a grip on yourself, Aleyha! Don't dwell over your past, it will never allow you to be happy. You are going to start a new life, move on and be happy.

Taking a deep breath, I pulled myself together and moved towards my closet. Nanna had told me to wear the nath she had given me. Opening my locker, I searched for the nath. Once finding it, I picked it up, my eyes came to a stop on the piece of paper and the rose lying on the paper.
All the memories came rushing back to me and I instantly tightened my grip on the door of the locker as I felt my head spinning. There was this sudden feeling as if these flashbacks would take me away with them, in my own fantastical world again. In a dazed state, my hand inched closer to the paper, removing the rotten rose from above it, I picked up the paper. Closing the door of the closet, I walked towards my dressing table, my eyes not once lingering away from the letter, as kept the long-forgotten nath on the table. Licking my dried lips, I opened the letter. A tear from my eye trailed down and dissolved on the paper. My eyes followed every word that was written by my very own hands. Choking back my tears, I leaned over the table.