Stairway to Heaven

24. Memoir

DISCLAIMER:
The following chapter covers several difficult and serious issues; including, mental health disorders, depression, bullying and violence among others.
Anyone suffering from disturbing thoughts, or dealing with these issues is advised to proceed with caution. This book is written with an objective to raise awareness regarding certain themes and in process, lend a helping hand to those in need of support.
I hope and pray that Allah SWT makes this book and our own selves as a source of aid to those around us, in need of care and understanding; including our own selves, InshaAllah!

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She stood gasping in her place, with hands clutched into fists on her either sides. Her whole body shaking with fear, as pain filled whimpers continued to escape the confines of her lips.

Yet, her eyes remained downcast. Her vision turning blurry through tears and dirty water dripping down her hair, which they had just dumped over her head only moments ago. All sounds except laments of her sinful conscience kept tearing at her existence through it's sharp claws.

She couldn't even make out their snickers, until one of them pulled at her braid to make her look up at her directly.

"Can't you hear me?! This—! Who the hell do you think you're showing attitude to?! HUH—?!" Ramsha swore at her, before shoving her to the ground with a hard push: sending her spectacles flying off.

Mashal fell to her knees with a jerk. Her lips quivering with painful sobs; which she was trying hard to not let escape its confines. But their torture was far from over. Her cries ceased only for a moment, when she heard him jump off of the water tank. Mashal caught his footsteps approaching towards her from the corner of her eyes and felt her heart getting caught up in her throat, when he squatted down to her level and made her look up by putting a finger against the centre of her forehead.

"Haven't you ever looked at yourself in the mirror?" Ali's soft voice clashed against Mashal's ears, but only a terrified whimper escaped her lips.

"You think.....I would ever go for the likes of you? You must be completely retarded, huh?" A sinister half grin appeared across his features, before he pushed against her forehead with all his might, only to earn a painful groan from her.

He got up with a chuckle, joined by his 3 other mates; and wiped off his finger on the back of her jacket's sleeve.

"And here I thought she was dumb—but nope—she's a vixen—! No match for nice people like us—" Alishba interjected with disgust laced in her voice, causing Mashal to rub off her tears with the back of her trembling hand.

In that moment, all she wished was for someone to kill her—and put an end to her humiliating and pathetic existence once and for all. She was a dead weight—To everyone around her. No one would even notice her absence, if she went missing.

"Learn your damn place, GEEK—And you dare go after my boyfriend again—!!" Ramsha screamed, while delivering a kick to her side, until Ali; her boyfriend, pulled her away with a chuckle and they all made way out of the terrace, closing the door after themselves and leaving Mashal a blubbering mess.

Why—? Why did this happen to her always? How come it always became her fault? She kept thinking, with her face tucked between her knees and arms wrapped around them.

It's your own fault—! Why? Why did you come up here after getting his note? But—But I was so scared—that if I didn't follow him, he would—NO!—It's your fault—ALL OF IT—! YOU are at fault for existing.

The constant battle between her conscience would continue and she would plunge deeper and deeper into the sickness plaguing her mind.

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