Stairway to Heaven

19. Plea

Before Mateen could even think about what he was doing, he had pushed through the door and ran out in search for her. His eyes running wild in hopes to catch a glimpse of her, while his legs had broken out into a sprint on their own.

His heart thumped painfully against his chest, as he ran through the hallway, until his eyes caught glimpse of her vanishing behind one of the Doctors room.

With ragged breaths he pulled open the door to find her sitting on the floor, with knees pulled up and her head tucked between them. Her hands were tightly wrapped around herself as her body shook with sobs escaping her lips.

Hajra didn't even register the sound of door opening, until she had finally heard his footsteps approaching.

It was unnatural, how by now she was even able to recognise his footsteps. Yet, she made no attempt to look up, until he had come to a halt a few feet from her.

Gulping down the lump of tears stuck in her throat, she finally looked up at him through tear stained face. The tightness welling in her chest only getting worse with every passing moment. However, in that moment, watching his ashen face, crumbled with anguish—Hajra knew in her heart, that, which she would never dare to admit to herself even.

Mateen looked back at her grief-stricken, before slowly dropping down on his knees beside her. His eyes never once leaving hers, who continued to gape at him through shaky gasps.

'Please....please....ya Allah...'

She prayed silently in her heart, before hiding her face between her pulled up knees. Wrapping her arms tightly around her legs, she tried to subdue her sobs, but to no avail.

She didn't know what she was doing anymore. Yet...yet, something inside Hajra told her that she would have to do this today. Almost—as if a premonition.

Mateen sat beside her, without being able to say a single thing. Just the unexpected sight of her had rendered him paralysed in his place. Right in this moment, he hated himself more than anyone else could hate him. He didn't know it was possible to feel so much hate for oneself, before this moment.

Unable to bear witness to her anguish for another moment, Mateen averted his guilt filled gaze.

Seconds turned into minutes, but silence only stretched between the two of them.

Hajra felt too overwhelmed to utter a single word. Everything that happened today and before, had as if come to engulf her all at once in this moment. She felt bitter and angry. But more than anything else—she felt heartbroken. Her heart was overcome with such sorrow, that it was rendering her paralaysed.

'Ya, Allah...please..please...I am so tired....please...if you don't grab hold of my hand...I am going to drown...'

The unvoiced thoughts were tearing her apart into pieces. She couldn't help but wonder, how much longer did she have to put up with such humiliation? When would her trial end? Until when was this test going to last? When now—now that she couldn't even muster the strength to go on anymore—

So, how? How was she to hold on, when by now she was broken, shattered and at her limit's end? If only she could stop and rest. If only—

She tried so hard to not breakdown. To not let these worries get the best of her. But she had been holding on for far too long. All this time, she'd kept trying and trying more than her best—and forgot, that she too was an erring, weak, human—with a heart that felt pain and grief—that—that sometimes wanted to give up—and sometimes wished for some peace too—Hajra too, wished she could take it easy once in a while—Because—afterall she too was only a human—and she was so tired—