Stairway to Heaven

10. Love & Infatuation

4 YEARS AGO

"Where did you vanish to? And Isra?" Mateen asked, looking up from his phone. Ammar took his seat beside Mateen and turned his gaze towards the white board. These were their last few days in A-levels and classes mostly comprised of self studying.

"Took her home. She had a fight with Mahad—" Ammar returned exhausted, while loosening the tie around his neck. Mateen continued to watch him blankly, without saying anything in return. Ammar caught his questioning eyes and turned to him with a dejected sigh.

"What?"

"I don't understand you two. Isra keeps going after a guy who doesn't treat her right and you keep going after her, even though you know you don't stand a chance. Do you guys enjoy torturing yourselves?" Mateen inquired nonchalantly and Ammar shifted his gaze once more to the board. He didn't say anything for a long moment.

"You're right. I don't stand a chance. Never did. That's why I can never bring myself to tell her my true feelings. Because I have seen it in her eyes; her love for him—" Ammar added slowly with a gulp, trying to mask the pain in his eyes.

"Love? She got engaged to him before we knew her, Ammar. In that age, the only thing someone can feel is raging hormones. That's just our parents manipulating our lives. It's nothing but infatuation and people try to ascribe it as something more romantic or cellestial—when in reality, it's utterly tragic. By the time someone realises the truth, they are in far too deep to crawl out and just to keep their sanity intact; people console themselves by labelling this foolishness as love." He couldn't hold back the spite from his words. Maybe because the examples to support his words were as malicious. All his life, Mateen had watched people abuse and get abused in the name of this slander called love. From his parents to Ammar, Isra and Mush—he had seen everyone, get exploited by this sham.

Ammar turned towards Mateen with a vacant look in his gaze.

"You're lucky, Mateen. Everything is always so black and white for you. You've never been in love, so you can't possibly understand it. Someone who's a control freak like you, can never fathom it. It's tragic and devoid of logic, yes. But it's beautiful too. Infatuation may be temporary and might pass away with time—but when you truly love someone, then you love them beyond reason and logic. You take care of them, respect them and their wishes and accept them with both their flaws and strengths. For people like me, trapped in a one-sided love, it is excruciatingly painful, but even if you can't get their love in return, the only thing you want more than anything, is for that person to be happy—even if that happiness isn't with you—" Mateen turned away with a scoff at his words.

"That's a load of bullshit, you crapped just now for a teenager, Ammar. What kind of dope have you been smoking these days? For heaven's sake, please keep that stuff away from me—" Mateen exclaimed with a sardonic chuckle; while Ammar watched him go on, pensively.

"If people are careful to not get involved with someone out of their league, they can spare themselves all this self-inflicting torture. I can't seem to comprehend why people are so obsessed with all this love crap. There are far more interesting things out there to do, if you're just looking for a high. Actually, now that you mention it, if I ever felt like getting in a relationship, I'll be sure to make it contractual. You can leave whenever you want. Saves you all that messy love crap—" Ammar continued to gawk at him silently, before finally breaking the silence in a small voice.

"You don't get to choose who you fall in love with, Mateen. But, I hope you never fall in love with someone you can't have. Because it's the most torturous thing in the world. And it doesn't go away by simply turning off some switch—"