Stairway to Heaven

21. Dusk to Dawn

The only sound breaking the silence of night, save for the chirping of crickets; were his agonising sobs.

Like a dam broken loose, Mateen was unable to cease his wailing. He kept weeping into his hands, as if someone had forcefully raided his existence and ripped out his heart from his chest. And alongside it, stolen away his will to live and everything else he had ever believed in.

Almost as if, someone had torn away the seal he had worked so hard to put on, in desperate attempts to conceal his emotions. And after stripping him off of everything, left him bare and vulnerable, with nothing else to do but mourn for the loss of it all.

He wept and wept, crying out his heart, as he curled over himself in pain, as if someone had left a knife stabbed in place where his heart once used to be.

His body weakened by grief, shook like a dry leaf, as anguish continued to pour out of him through way of tears. He knew if the guilt didn't kill him first, he would die from the pain of this grief that had consumed his soul.

He wouldn't have been able to stop, until Daado's soul stirring recitation suddenly began to flow into his ears.

يَهْدِي بِهِ اللَّهُ مَنِ اتَّبَعَ رِضْوَانَهُ سُبُلَ السَّلَامِ وَيُخْرِجُهُمْ مِنَ الظُّلُمَاتِ إِلَى
النُّورِ بِإِذْنِهِ وَيَهْدِيهِمْ إِلَىٰ صِرَاطٍ مُسْتَقِيمٍ

"With it God guides those who follow [the course of] His pleasure to the ways of peace, and brings them out from darkness into light by His will, and guides them to a straight path."
(Quran 5:16)

"A slave of Allah gets lost in the darkness of his Nafs. His Nafs consumes him and he forgets about the 'one and only true Noor', the light of Allah SWT."

His cries had ceased almost at once, as Abdul Ghafoor continued.

"He gets indulged in the pleasures and deceptions of this temporary dunya—more and more, until the darkness begins to consume his soul. The things that gave him happiness once, were now unable to keep him sane. So, he keeps sinking into the pit-fire of hell created by the sins of his own doing—Until he finally hits rock bottom—"

With tears blurring his vision, Mateen looked up and turned to watch Daado go on gently; his gaze fixated to the the moonlit sky.

"—and then if that slave sees the error of his ways and calls out to his Creator in help—then Allah SWT brings him out of darkness towards light, if He sees some goodness in that person's heart."

Mateen didn't know if Daado realized it but his words were shaking him to the very core. Once again, he felt so overcome by emotions that he hid his face in his hands again.

"Allah SWT is Ghafoor ur Raheem, Abdul Mateen. He is the Most Kind and Most Merciful. So how can you think He SWT will turn you away, His repenting servant?"

No words would leave Mateen's mouth, only the sound of sobs cracking through his lips.

"Allah is more pleased wth the repentance of His servant than what one of you would do on finding the lost camel in the waterless desert. When he draws near Me by the span of his hand. I draw near him by the length of a cubit and when he draws near Me by the length of a cubit. I draw near him by the length of a fathom and when he draws near Me walking I draw close to him hurriedly.(Hadith)"