Red Vs Blue, & there's Magenta: Season One

Chapter 1 Why Are We Here?

Grif and Simmons both stood atop the base.

Simmons: Hey.

Grif: Yeah.

Simmons: You ever wonder why we're here?

Grif: One of life's great mysteries isn't it? Are we here because of some cosmic coincidence or is there really a god watching everything? You know, with a plan for us and stuff. I don't know man, but it keeps me up at night. . . .

The maroon soldier stared at him blankly.

Simmons: What? I meant why are we out here, in this canyon.

Before Grif could respond, they heard a voice come from within the base.

?: What was all that about god?

The two moved to the center of the roof and looked down to see Ruby, now in magenta armor and wielding an SMG with a magnum attached to her hip.

Grif: Uhh. . . nothing.

Ruby/Simmons: Want to talk about it?

Grif: No.

Ruby: You sure?

Grif: Yeah.

Simmons: Seriously though, why are we out here? As far as I can tell, it's a box canyon in the middle of nowhere.

Ruby: Well I crash landed off of something, that's why I'm here.

Simmons: Well yeah, but the only reason we set up a Red Base over here is because they set up a Blue Base over there. And the only reason they have a Blue Base over there is because we have a red base over here.

Grif: Well yeah, that's because we're fighting each other.

Simmons: If we were to pull out today and if they were to come and take our base, they'd have two bases in the middle of a box canyon. Whoop-dee-fucking-doo.

Grif: What's up with that anyways, I mean I signed up to fight some aliens. Next thing I know, Master Chief is blowing up the whole Covenant armada and I'm stuck in the middle of nowhere, fighting a bunch of blue guys.

Ruby: Grif, would you rather fight aliens who glass planets or a couple of idiots?

Grif: Fair point.

Unbeknownst to them, they were being watched. On a nearby cliff, two soldiers stood. The one with cobalt armor wielded a sniper rifle and had it trained on the two red soldiers on the roof of their base while the one in cyan armor just stood there.

Tucker: What are they doing?

The cobalt one turned to face him with an annoyed expression.

Church: What?

Tucker: I asked what are they doing now?

Church: God damn, I am getting so sick of answering that question!

Tucker: You have the fucking rifle, I can't see shit so don't bitch at me because I'm not just going to sit up here and play with my dick.

Church: Hey look, they're just standing there and talking, okay? That's all they're doing, all they ever do is stand around and talk. That's what they were doing last week, that's what they were doing five minutes ago. So when you ask me in five minutes "What are they doing?" I'm going to tell you they're just standing there and talking! That's what the answer always is gonna be! They're still just talking, and they're still just standing there!

A silence overtook them. . . .

Tucker: What are they talking about?

Church: You know what, I fucking hate you.

Speaking of, the reds were talking still talking about their reason for being there.

Grif: Talk about a waste of resources, we should be discovering intelligent forms of life or something to you know. . . fight them.

Simmons: Yeah, that's why we should be in charge.

As if on queue, the man in charge arrived.

Sarge: Ladies, front and center on the double!

Ruby: Going!

Simmons: Fuck.

Grif: Yes sir.

And with that, the Reds regrouped with their sergeant.