Red Vs Blue, & there's Magenta: Season One

Chapter 17 Points of Origin

The Blues were gathered outside their base.

Tex: As far as I'm concerned, I'm square with you. Please give me a reason to stay you idiot!

Church: I saved you from a life of imprisonment. How the hell are you square with me?

Tex: Because I didn't kill you back at Sidewinder.

Church: You know, I don't really see how not killing somebody is the same thing as doing them a favor.

Tex: Well, if you don't appreciate it, I could just kill you right now.

Church: No you can't! I'm already dead bitch! Guess the jokes on you!

Caboose: Stop it! Stop fighting! Can't you see that you're tearing us apart? WHAT ABOUT US?!

Tex: What about you?

Caboose: We helped you too. And what do we get, nothing!

Tex: Well yeah, but. . . I can't believe this idiot managed to come up with something more reasonable than Church.

Church: Yeah, but nothin'. He's got a point.

Tex: I did help them get the flag back.

Tucker: Yeah, but we were paid to do that. We rescued you as a favor. We could have just let you rot in the Red Army prison. It wouldn't have made any difference to us.

Tex: Fine, I'll stay here as long as it takes to help you guys win this thing. And to stay with Hawa- no, Ruby. . . . As soon as I have, I'm out of here. I'm gonna end up staying for a while, aren't I? What do you need me to do?

Tucker: I have no idea. If you knew how to fix a tank, I would have you do that.

Tex: Okay.

Caboose: W-Wait, you-you know how to fix Sheila. . .? I love you.

*With the Reds*

They were atop the base with Lopez speaking. Everything the robot said was completely misunderstood by the Reds.

Grif: Man. First he doesn't talk at all and now we can't get him to shut up. What's he saying?

Simmons: What are you asking me for?

Grif: Uh, you know, because uh, you're of a Latino persuasion.

?: What?

The three privates and the robot turned to see Ruby limping up to the roof.

Ruby: Richard and Simmons are not Spanish names you idiot.

Simmons: I'm Dutch-Irish, dumbass.

Grif: But I thought-

Simmons: What?

Grif: Never mind.

Donut: I'm from Iowa.

Grif/Simmons: Nobody cares!

Ruby: Shut up you two and stop being mean to him!

Donut: Thank you Ms. Ruby.

Grif/Simmons: Yes ma'am. . . .

*With the Blues*

Tucker and Caboose approached the damaged tank in the middle of the canyon.

Church: Take it easy guys. The Reds already got their jeep fixed. So, whatever you do, don't let them see us before we get Sheila back online.

Caboose: Okay, Okay. Even if we get Sheila fixed, how are we going to turn her over? I mean, it's-it's not like as if we could just lift-

Tex proceeded to flip the take onto its treads.

Caboose: Oh. She is a very strong lady.

Church: I'm the one that's the least visible, I'll head up to higher ground. I'll keep an eye on the Red Base. If I see anything, I'll let you know.

Caboose: Great, I'll come with you!

Church: That kind of defeats the purpose, Caboose.

Caboose: Okay, what if I'm really. . . really. . .

His voice was almost unbearable.

Caboose: Quiet?

Church: Do you even understand what the term "visibility" means?

Church: Ahahahaha, good one Church.

Church: Seriously, You don't even know what it means, do you?

Caboose: Uh, no.

Church: Caboose, just stay here, and try not to swallow your tongue, or anything like that.

Church ran towards the cliff to get a better line of sight on the Reds.

Tucker: Just watch the red base, see if there's any movement.

Tucker then moved towards Tex, who was working on the tank.

Tucker: So, I suppose if you're helping us, you're not as mean as we thought.

Tex: I wouldn't say I'm mean, an old friend would actually say I'm nice. I just get hired to do mean things.

Tucker: Yeah, but you like it.

Tex: Well, I think it's important to enjoy what you do.

Tucker: So, let's say I paid you to kill Caboose.

The blue soldier looked at nothing in the distance.

Tucker: You would do it right? Even though you're supposed to be helping us.

Tex: Is this a hypothetical discussion or should we start talking numbers?

Tucker: Yeah, I don't wanna talk about this anymore.

Suddenly, Church appeared on the cliff.

Church: Hey Tucker!

Tucker: What?

Church: What the hell is my body still doing up here?

Tucker: That's part of being dead, Church. Your body doesn't really move around much anymore. Maybe you haven't fully grasped the concept.

Church: Let me rephrase that then! Why in the hell haven't you buried my body yet?!

Tucker: Buried? With what?! All we have are pistols and rifles. What do you want me to do, shoot you a grave?

Church: Well how about shipping me back home?! You know, let the loved ones pay a little respect.

Tucker: Well Church, here's your girlfriend.

Tex: Ex-girlfriend.

Tucker: Tex, as one of Church's loved ones, would you like to pay your respects?

The Freelancer continued to work on the tank without a word.

Tucker: That was a stirring eulogy. Rest In Peace, good buddy!