Red Vs Blue, & there's Magenta: Season One

Chapter 7 Check Out the Treads On That Tank

The cobalt and currently black armored soldier were still hiding behind a rock and were still under heavy fire.

Church: My God, doesn't that thing ever run out of bullets?

Tucker: You know, in hindsight, we should have brought the tank.

Church: Hey Tucker, what good is a tank gonna do us if nobody knows how to drive it?

Tucker: Yeah, I can see how hiding behind a rock is a much better strategy.

Church: Well yeah but. . . Aw man. I guess I gotta give that one to you.

*At Blue Base*

Caboose entered the tank. It's headlight blared to life.

A.I.: Hello, and thank you for activating the M8O8V Main Battle Tank. You may call me Sheila.

Caboose: Hello, Sheila. . . Big tank lady.

Sheila: Would you like me to run the tutorial program?

Caboose: Ok, that'd be very nice. Thank you!

Sheila: This program is intended to instruct non-certified personnel in the use of this Scorpion-class tank. Lets begin with some driving.

Caboose: Okay.

The space marine put it into drive and set off.

*With the Reds*

Grif/Ruby: Simmons!

The maroon soldier was still firing and yelling.

Grif/Ruby: SIMMONS!

Simmons finally stopped firing and hopped off the jeep.

Grif: Man, that thing is loud.

Simmons: WHAT?!

The soldier's hearing hadn't returned to normal yet. They remained ignorant to the tank moving in random directions dozens of meters behind them.

Ruby: Come on, let's sneak around the back of the rock and get them.

Simmons: OKAY!

Grif: Keep it down, Jesus! Let's go before they figure out what's going on.

They turned and were about to go only to notice that Ruby had already went ahead of them.

*With Caboose*

The tank was stock on a rock.

Sheila: Now that you've mastered driving the M8O8V, let's move onto some safety features.

Caboose: No! No wait, go back! Why are there six pedals if there are only four directions?!

*With Church and Tucker*

Church: Psst, hey. They stopped firing.

He was whispering, confusing his ally.

Tucker: Why are you whispering?

Church: Um. . . I don't know.

He was still whispering. Meanwhile the reds were at the bottom of the cliff.

Ruby: Crap, I don't think we're going to be getting around this way.

She sped towards the other side, where she could get around while leaving Grif and Simmons behind. The maroon marine turned to the orange one.

Simmons: Tell me again, why did we get out of the jeep?

The Scorpion Tank stopped moving right behind them.

Grif: Well, it was this or watch you shoot rocks all day.

Simmons: Well at least that was fun.

The duo froze and slowly turned to the battle tank. . . .

Grif: Holy Crap. . . . What in god's name is that thing?

As they stayed in place, the Blues contemplated taking the jeep.

Church: Tucker, don't be stupid. They're just trying to draw us out.

Tucker: No, they're not. Look, they left the jeep. They're gone.

Church: Well, I don't know about this. . . . It seems pretty fishy but. . . Alright screw it, let's go get it.

He readied himself as the tank's main cannon aimed at the terrified reds.

Grif: Alright, don't move. I don't think it sees us. . . .