Red Vs Blue, & there's Magenta: Season One

Chapter 10 A Shadow of His Former Self

The Blues were just outside their base. Tucker was back in his cyan armor as well.

Tucker: This is Blood Gulch Outpost Alpha. Do you read me?

Caboose: Okay, that's the last of it. Your armor is all clean now.

Tucker: Did you get all the black stuff off?

Suddenly, Blue Command came online.

Blue Command: This Blue command, come in Blood Gulch Outpost Alpha.

Tucker: Hello, command! We need help!

Blue Command: Roger that Blood Gulch. What is your request?

Tucked: I don't know what the technical military term for it is. . . But we're pretty fucked up down here! We need men!

Blue Command: Dude, how long have you been down there?

Tucker: No, no, no, no, not like that! We need more men to help us.

Blue Command: Roger that, did you get the tank we sent?

Tucker: Yeah. . . that got blown up too.

Blue Command: Wow, sucks to be you.

Tucker: Yeah, we know.

Blue Command: Okay, here's what I can do. The nearest Blue forces can be there in Sixteen days or-

Tucker: Sixteen days?! That's almost two weeks!

Blue Command: Or I can hire a nearby freelancer to be there in a few hours.

Caboose: I like the "in an hour" one.

Tucker: Yeah, me too. Roger that command, we prefer the quicker solution.

Blue Command: 10-4 Blood Gulch. We'll contact Freelancer Tex and have them there post-haste. Command out.

Tucker: Whoever he is, make sure he can fix the tank.

Caboose: What's a freelancer?

Tucker: Freelancers are independent. They're not Red or Blue. They're just guns for hire who'll fight for whoever has the most money.

Caboose: Like a mercenary.

Tucker: Right, or like your mom when the rent is due.

Caboose: Oh, that's funny.

Tucker: Yeah, you don't think that was too obvious?

Caboose: No, no, not at all. That was good.

Suddenly, a familiar but ghostly voice echoed in the air.

?: Tuckerrrr! TUUCKERRRR!

The two turned to see a translucent soldier.

Tucker: Who the heck are you?

?: I aaam the ghoost of Chuurch and I've come back with a waarning!

Caboose: You're not Church, Church is blue. You're white.

Church: Rookie, shut up man! I'm a freaking ghost! Have you ever seen a blue ghost before?

Tucker: Yeah, that's definitely him.

Church: Now I gotta start over again.

He coughed before repeating his ghost voice warning.

Tucker: Is it really necessary to do the voice?

Caboose: Yeah, it's kind of annoying.

Church: Fine, here's the deal. I've come back from the dead to give you a warning about Tex. Don't let-

Caboose: What's the warning?

Church: Shut up for one second and I'll tell you!

Caboose: Oh sorry.

Church: Seriously man, I'm coming back from the great beyond here! You think this is easy? It's not! It's like, you know, pop in and out whenever I feel like it. It takes a lot of concentration.

Caboose: Sorry.

Church: I mean it's bad enough that you killed me to begin with. But now I've come back and I can't even get a word in edgewise, man.

The ghost sighed.

Church: Okay. . . Here's the deal.

Caboose: Is this the warning?

Church: Alright that's it, I swear to god, Caboose. Your ass is haunted. When we're done here, I'm gonna haunt you.

Tucker: Yeah, you're even starting to bug me.

Church: Okay Tucker. . . You remember when I told you I was stationed on Sidewinder before they transferred me to Blood Gulch, right?

Tucker: No.

Caboose: Sidewinder, isn't that the ice planet?

Church: Yes.

Caboose: Cool! What was that like?

Church: Um. . . It was cold.

Caboose: That's it?

Church: What do you want from me, a poem? It's a planet made entirely out of ice. It's really fucking cold!

Tucker: Will you just let him talk?

Church: Alright well. . . .

The ghost told the tale of how the Blue Base of Sidewinder was completely wiped out by a soldier in black armor. Freelancer Tex killed everyone and beat Private Jimmy to death with his own skull.

Tucker: That doesn't seem physically possible.

Church: That's exactly what Jimmy kept screaming.

The Private was killed and Church was left alone on the ice planet. . . .

Church: Bottom line is, these freelancers are bad news, and Tex is the worst of them.

Caboose: If he's such a badass, why didn't he kill you?

Church: To tell ya, I don't know why I'm not dead. Coulda killed me at any point. But maybe it's because Tex and I have run into each other once before.

Tucker: Where?

Church: You. . . Uh, remember that girl I told you about, back home? Well, let's just say Tex is the real reason we never got married. . . . Guys I'm fading fast, I don't know when I'll be back. Just listen to my warning, don't let Tex get involved here.

Tucker: Okay.

Church: I mean it Tucker. No fighting, no scouting, nothing. You'll regret it. . . .

Church faded into nothingness. . . .

Tucker: So Tex and Church were after the same girl.

Caboose: I told you his girlfriend was a slut.

Unbeknownst to them, Freelancer Tex had already arrived. . . .