Red Vs Blue, & there's Magenta: Season One

Chapter 18 SPF 0

Church, Tucker, and Caboose looked down at Church's body. The ghost sighed.

Church: I'm not happy about this.

Caboose: I have an idea. I HAVE AN IDEA!

Tucker: Yeah we heard you the first time Caboose, we were just ignoring you.

Caboose: If you possessed the Red guy and took control of him. . . Why don't you just possess your own body?

Church: Oh I see, so that way I would be living inside my own dead body.

Caboose: Yes.

Church: Unable to move.

Church: Just laying there, rotting in the sun for all of eternity.

Caboose: Yes!

Church: Okay, Caboose. I'll be sure to get right on that.

Caboose: You are a mean ghost.

Tucker looked down to the dead body.

Tucker: Dude you really stink.

Church: What?

Tucker: Your body, it stinks.

Church: Tucker, the first chance we get, you are going to bury my body!

Tucker: Quit your bitching, nothing's going to happen to it.

Church: It's a freaking indignity! My body fought hard for this army and it deserves to be laid to rest!

Tucker: Get over it, you're already dead. What's the worst that could happen now?

Caboose: Hey look! Birds! Uh, why are they flying around in circles?

Church: Oh god. . . .

*With the Reds*

Grif: Okay, I'll go again. I spy something that begins with. . .

Ruby/Simmons: Dirt.

Grif: Damn! How did you-

Ruby: What else is out here besides rocks, dirt, and the occasional patch of grass?

Grif: Yeah, this canyon sucks.

*With the Blues*

Church: How long do you figure until Tex fixes the tank?

Tucker: Not much longer, she said it's going pretty well. The gun's almost working, then she's just gotta get it moving again.

Church: Oh, that's just fantastic.

Tucker: Why would that upset you?

Church: Because as soon as she gets the tank online, she's gonna use it to kill the reds, and they're all gonna die.

Tucker: The Red's dying is a good thing.

Church: No, Tucker. It's not a good thing. As soon as we beat the Reds, Tex is out of here. And I still haven't figured out a way to get that A.I. out of her head.

Caboose: A.I. . . .

Church: Shut up Caboose. And if I don't get it out before she leaves. . . .

Tucker: If she leaves, you won't ever find her again.

Church: Right.

Tucker: So what're you gonna do?

Church: I'm gonna do the only thing I can do. I have to warn the reds before she fixes the tank.

Tucker: You're switching sides?

Church: Sorry guys, I don't have much of a choice.

Caboose: Church, uh, what happens when the reds out here to stop Tex and then they also come with guns and they find us?

Church: I'll try to help as best I can. Good luck guys. . . .

The Ghost Church faded.

Caboose: Does that mean I should try to kill Church now?

Tucker: Tell you what, kill me. I promise not to come back.

Caboose then gasped and aimed with his scope.

Caboose: Hey, LOOK AT THIS!

Tucker: No.

Caboose: They have a girl.

Tucker: Yeah we know. She's hot.

Caboose: No, I mean another one.

Tucker: Wait really?

Caboose: Look, pink armor!

Tucker: Oh man, how come they get another girl?

Tex: Uh, you guys realize I'm a chick, right?

The freelancer spoke from the bottom of the cliff.

Tex: And that I'm standin' right here.

Tucker: Yeah, Tex, but when we say a girl, we mean a girl-girl.

Tex: And what the hell does that mean?

Caboose/Tucker: Nothing!

Tex: Also if you hit on the magenta one again, I'll stab you.

Tucker and Caboose backed up from the ledge and stood with their backs against the canyon walls.

Tucker: Wait a second. If Tex heard that, you think she heard Church's plan to warn the Reds about her?

Caboose: I don't know. . . But I think I know how to find out.

Caboose looked down at the Freelancer.

Caboose: Hey Tex! Uh, did you hear Church's secret plan to tell the Reds that you're fixing the tank. . .?

Tex stared at him blankly before turning back to the tank and deadpanning.

Caboose: I don't think she knows.