Counting Paths

Chapter 8.

Sterling

"Why does Kevin walk so far behind us?" I ask Roland as I glance back over my shoulder. But he grabs me by the top of my head and turns it forward. I hit his gut and he drops his hand from my head.

"It's his job," he tells me. "Usually I have a couple of more guys with me but this was a last-minute thing."

"You said we could go last night."

"I didn't think we would go this early."

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"I got too much," I whisper as we put the last of the bags in the truck. Roland nods towards the front of the car and Kevin walks away and climbs inside. "Just save it, okay?" I mutter to Roland. "It's not like I'm going to be-"

"Don't," he growls. "Whatever happens...I...I want you to have everything-I mean everything that I bought you."

I close the truck. "Is that supposed to be your apology?"

"No, I'm not going to apologize." He pulls out an almost empty pack of smokes, lits a cigarette, and leans against the car as he inhales the poison.

"You smoke?"

He shrugs and says around the deadly stick, "sometimes. Depends on how shitty I'm feeling." He blows the smoke away from me. "You should wait inside."

"That's...it?"

"What do you want from me, kid?"

"The truth." My throat hurts. "Was it...true?"

"No, it wasn't true. And you know that." He inhales and exhales another drag. "I shouldn't have said what I said. But the truth...? The truth is I've never been close to anyone in my life. The truth is I told you things I never thought I would tell myself. The truth is..." He flicks the cigarette, pushes off the car, and takes a step forward. "I think I actually give a damn about you, kid, and that scares me, especially when I don't know what the fuck I'm doing."

He blurs with the tears pooling in my eyes.

"Shit-why are you crying?"

"No, you can't..." I wince and my tears fall. "Why?"

"Because you're a good kid, Sterling, and whatever fucked up things your parents did doesn't change that. It doesn't change how...amazing you are or how people see you. Now, you caring about me? That's fucking strange." I can't help but laugh through my tears, and he releases a heavy breath like he's been holding it this entire time. "Are we good now?"

I nod, wiping my tears. "Yeah, we're good."

His gray eyes grow serious. "Are you good?"

"I think...I dunno."

He leans down until we're at eye level. "You will be, okay? That's all that matters." I reach for him, then I step back as he quickly straightens up. I mutter an apology and he whispers, "go ahead." I hug him.

"Can we have pizza again?" I say into his chest.

"Yeah."

Roland

An hour later...
"So, where's the kid?" Russell asks as he walks through the front door I hold open for them.

"Is it true?" Frank's next. "Do you have a kid?"

"She's not mine, and she's in the kitchen eating so be nice." I close the door and rush in front of them before we enter the kitchen where Sterling is sitting on the island countertop eating pizza. "Sterling, this is Russell and Frank." She smiles and waves at them. "Is that my pizza?" I snatch the slice from her.