Counting Paths

Chapter 26.

I carefully place Sterling on the couch. She says she's dizzy, and I'm in no rush to be moving her around too fast too soon, won't risk her throwing up everywhere again. I sit down on the floor with my back against the edge of the cushions.

"I didn't-" Kevin starts but I hold up my hand and shut him up.

"You drugged her," I say softly. Sterling is in the blurry line of conscious and unconscious, if she's listening right now, which I doubt she is, there's a chance she might remember it tomorrow when she's up. "I know you only did it to help her calm down but after everything she's been through? Really? You're just lucky she's so damn forgiving."

"I know!" He yells in a whisper. "Fuck, I know. But you weren't there, okay? You didn't see how she was. She tried to leave. She threatened to leave the first chance she got. She wanted to go back to the house for you." He winces like the memory is still too fresh in his head to bear. "She started crying and asked me why you made her leave. She wanted you to be the one to comfort her."

I groan and lower my head in my hands. I try to steady my breathing to calm my mind and racing heartbeat. Why the hell haven't I ever considered being there for her? I mean, I did, I figured I would be with her after everything with Joe was settled but clearly Sterling needed me sooner.

An unknown amount of time passes, Kevin doesn't say a word, supporting my moment to collect myself, and Sterling stirs quietly next to me.

When I realize nothing's really working and my breathing and heart rate are still unstable, I lift my head and drop my juried hands on my lap. "Do think you think I made the right decision taking her in?"

He freezes, then turns and looks at me. "What did you just say?"

"I asked-"

"No, I heard you the first time. Why the hell would you ask that?!"

"I had a sudden meeting with JTW. Apparently, I ruined his career and life because he fucking sucks at his job." I sigh and drag my hands back and forth over my head a few times, the sting and pain returning. "He threatened Sterling, Kevin. He has photos of us. He's been following us again since she arrived."

"He won't do anything lethal. He's an FBI-"

"Not anymore. I told you, I ruined his career. He kept talking about how desperate he was, how Sterling just suddenly appeared in our lives and how crazy it would be if she just disappeared. Those were almost his exact words. He asked me if I would risk Sterling's life to underestimate him. I won't do it. I won't joke about Sterling's life. I...I actually considered taking her to Arleen's house so she would be safe."

"Roland, the only reason why you kept Wilson alive the last few years because you needed something to do. He was just entertainment, he still is! Don't let that worthless piece of shit ruin the process you've made with Sterling."

"Okay," I breathe. "But you know what this means, right?"

"No...?"

"We'll eventually have a new FBI agent on our ass."

He shrugs and leans back into his armchair. "Nothing we can't handle."

"Speaking of shit we can't handle-" I wave my finger around in front of my face "what happened to your face?" There's the faintest bruise around his left eye and the bridge of his nose is swollen.

"Sterling can throw a punch."

I feel my brows shoot up in surprise. "Sterling hit you?"

"I taught her a few self-defense moves to help her feel better."