Counting Paths

Chapter 18.

"Roland..." I can myself and Luna standing in the middle of the street with a good ten feet between us. It's night...or more like the sky has been absorbed by a black hole, and the city's lights are their own clusters of stars. Luna's face is blurry, almost completely unrecognizable. And her voice... "Roland, please!" It's not hers, but I know that voice. "Roland!" A heavy fog rolls in, turning everything grimmer.

I feel like I'm being watched, like someone's standing over my shoulder. The right side of my body is hot. On fire.

"Roland! Please...I'm sorry." There's a pain in my chest. "Roland?" It's Sterling.

Luna explodes into a figure of white smoke.

I jolt up and push myself off the mattress as the realization of everything being a nightmare soaks in. I have two seconds to myself before I notice Sterling standing next to the bed. Genuinely startled, I jump like a frightened cat and end up on my back.

"Jesus, Sterling, what the hell are-" I sit up and, even in the dark, the shadows cast over her face, I can see she's crying. "Kid-"

She jumps into my lap, circling herself into a ball and hugging my arm. Her wet cheek soaks my bicep. "I had a nightmare," she cries.

I look up and see Russell standing in the doorway of my bedroom. His face is hard.

I realize he couldn't comfort her. She needs me to feel safe.

Holding my gaze, he nods firmly, then he grabs the doorknob and closes the door behind him as he leaves.

"It's okay," I whisper to Sterling. I rub her back and lean down to place a kiss on the back of her head. "I'm right here."

Sterling cries herself to sleep in my arms but not before asking if she could sleep with me tonight. I say yes, of course, how could I say otherwise? Half an hour later, her crying has stopped and her breathing is slower. I lift her off my lap and settle her beside me. I find it hard to fall asleep after that. I keep thinking the moment I lie back and close my eyes, she's going to start crying and shaking with fear again, and she will be too scared or embarrassed to wake me up.

But eventually, after a hell of a day, I'm too exhausted and I pass out pressed against the headboard.

The feeling of someone slipping into bed wakes me.

"Sorry," Sterling mutters when she sees my eyes are open. "Your phone was ringing." I sit up and grab the vibrating phone that I was lying on a second ago. A phone I don't recognize is calling me. I decline the call and lie back down on my stomach. "No one's here," she whispers, sitting back on her legs.

I groan and push myself on my elbows. "Try to go back to sleep."

"I've been up for an hour. I'm bored."

"How are you feeling?"

"Bored." She punches my arm. "Are you not listening?"

"No, I meant-" I shut up. She seems to be in a decent mood and I don't want to remind her of last night. "Call one of the boys."

"I thought..." In the dim light, I see her frown. "...we could...never mind."

"What?" I push.

"Nothing, it's just a nice day today..."

I tell myself not to groan annoyingly. I'm not much of a morning person, but I can't push her away or ignore her. "What did you have in mind?"

"I was thinking we could go to the movies, there's a new horror movie out-I haven't seen a horror movie in theaters for so long! Then I thought we could go to the park or something. Please...?" She scrunches her nose, her small face twisting with hope.