made for you | billie eilish

29 | for us

                               leilani's pov -

6 months later..

life update: billie and i have been working out together, i've been building up my strength, weight, and nutritional health.

we had our honeymoon in paris because it's the city of love, duh. it was amazing and the best i could ask for.

the immunotherapy? according to scans, it seems to be working but because i'm supposedly terminal i don't know if it'd help any. it might just prolong my stay here on earth.

billie and i have definitely been so good and enjoying the marriage and shit. but i can see the anxiety in her as we get closer to the year mark.

she doesn't say anything about it, but it's clear. i mean it's been 10 months out of the year they gave me. i know she's scared. all of my loved ones are.

"leilani?" margie walked into the living room. "can i steal you for a sec?"

i squinted. "what's that?" i looked at the large brown envelope in her hand. "it's for me isn't it?"

"mhm," she nodded sadly.

"what's that?" billie looked at me.

"you can bring it in here marg. it's okay."

margie walked in slowly and handed me the envelope. she sat down on the sofa, folding her lips in as if she's trying not to cry.

billie started to look very concerned.

"this," i breathed deeply. "is the paperwork for planning my funeral."

billie rose her eyebrows as if she was about to vomit.

margie started tearing up. "i can't," she stood up and walked out of the room.

i sighed. "guys-"

"no," billie snatched it out of my hand.

"b, i have to do it-"

"no you don't!" she exclaimed as she stood up. "no you're not doing that shit bro! you can't!" she began crying.

"billie," i said calmly as i stood up. "i know you're upset but i need to do-"

"no!" she ripped the papers and threw them on the table.

"billie!" my eyes got wide. "i get it sucks but this makes the funeral planning process easier for you!" i yelled, followed with a cough before storming off.

"i'm sorry," she broke down crying.

i paused while walking away. i took a deep breath and turned around to face her. "i know how much it hurts. so i am not mad at you," i said calmly. "but do realize this isn't easy for me either, but it still needs to be done."

she just sniffed and stood there. and i walked away.

i walked out onto my patio area to find margie. i coughed some more before sitting next to her.

"you okay?" she looked at me.

"yeah it's just from yelling," i shook my head. "she ripped the papers."

"oh no," marg face palmed. "this is gonna be so fucking hard."

"yeah no shit," i rose my eyebrows.

billie knocked on the patio door before opening it and walking outside. she had the saddest look on her face. it honestly breaks me to see her like this.

"lani i-"

"come here baby," i patted my lap for her to sit on.

she quickly came and sat on it before laying her head in my neck, letting out a big sigh.