Freedom Ranch

Chapter 26

Dakota sat on the couch feeling insecure. A feeling she never liked to experience or admit when it would creep up. Hiding from Collin, learning about his past, and seeing the destruction he was causing to find her was waning on her. The independent Dakota that didn't need anyone wasn't so sure anymore.

She was scared. Another feeling she didn't like to acknowledge. A rare one at that. The last time she felt this way was the brief second she thought Colin would overpower her when they fought. She didn't like feeling weak. She hated this paralyzing fear that was threatening to overcome her. Throughout the afternoon and into the evening, she had been swallowing back panic attacks. She refused to let them overtake her. She stared at the TV screen, feeling her eyes grow tired as she watched for any signs of Collin. The problem was, the longer she stayed awake, the more paranoid she would become. Horrible insomnia would come after that. She knew her patterns by now when her anxiety was this bad.

All these anxieties and symptoms she was familiar with having PTSD. Yet another weakness she didn't like to admit. She didn't want to fall back into that dark hole and struggle with daily life. She refused.

"Dakota, you're still up?" asked Colt.

She swung around to see Colt in a white t-shirt and flannel bottoms. His black and silver hair was wet. His copper-toned skin carried a red undertone, confirming he must have indeed taken a hot shower.

"I can't sleep," she said simply, returning her eyes back to the TV.

"Do you want to talk about something?"

She felt her heart jump to her throat in response. She swallowed it down and shook her head, refusing to show any weakness. Colt sat down next to her on the couch and didn't say a word. Dakota waited for him to give her some kind of speech about how stubborn she was or try to convince her she needed to share her feelings. But he didn't say anything.

She continued to stare at the security footage on the screen but found his presence distracting. He smelled clean from the soap he used, but there was no mistake. She could still smell him. She glanced his way to see he was casually leaning back on the cushions with his eyes closed. One arm was resting on the side of the couch while the other was sitting on his leg just a foot away. She thought back to the bar and remembered how comforting it was to have his hand on hers. Yet another weakness she didn't want to admit to.

Her mantra that she didn't need a man was becoming harder to say to herself with Colt around. Especially with the realization that she may not need a man, but she was finding herself wanting Colt. It was something she had never really experienced before, and it was terrifying.

"Do you plan on sleeping there?" she asked, wanting to avoid the thoughts in her head.

"Sure, if this is where you are going to be all night."

"The couch isn't very comfortable."

Colt opened his eyes and looked at Dakota. She could see he looked tired and felt even more guilty he was staying up on her account.

"I think I'll go to bed now," she said more apprehensively than she wanted to.

"I can take the cot again tonight?"

"No, that won't be necessary. You need a good night's sleep. You are exhausted."

"I'll sleep better knowing someone won't sneak up on you in the middle of the night."

"You would also sleep better if you didn't have to wake from my nightmares," she said, swallowing the embarrassment.

He must have heard the strain in her voice, that she didn't want detected. He opened his eyes to look at her, his expression unreadable. Her heart quickened as he put his large hand over hers.