Our complicated love story

Ch.2.5 The biggest mistake

The biggest mistake
Ch.2.5

Theo's pov

No..no..no this is not real, it can't be.

On the bathroom counter, a pregnancy test with two lines is sitting right in front of my eyes. My first instinct is to cry, cry and cry. I can't believe it...what have I done...? I cry and cry yet again, refusing to see the two lines again.

No, I can't believe it. I...I'm...pregnant...Just thinking about it makes me shed even more tears. Ugh, now I'm frustrated. How could've I let this ugly thing happen to me?

Just one month ago I was really cautious about hooking up but here I am pregnant not even one month later.

Thank god my mom is at work and my sister is at her friend's house because I wouldn't have tolerated them here seeing me in this state. What will I do? What should I do? It's not like I can ignore the eventful truth.

Argh my life is ruined, ruined!!! I smash the counter out of pure frustration. Geez, that hurts!

Ugh, why did I do that? Injuring my hand certainly won't help me right now. I don't even want to begin to imagine it...having to tell Nathan the ugly truth...He doesn't even know I have this disgusting condition that can enable me to be pregnant.

Ugh, I messed up big, big, big time! Now I have to tell everyone what I did the last few weeks, including my friends.

Ugh, no one except Ben and Nathan knows I'm gay in the first place. How will I tell them about all of that? I can't go up to them and tell them, "Hey I'm gay and yeah I'm pregnant now 'cause I have a f**ked up condition that makes me enable too."

No, this will be terribly wrong if I say it like that. Ugh, I already have a headache just thinking about all of this.

"Hey, why did you have to happen huh?"

I talk to myself but mostly for the unborn baby in my belly. I know it can't hear me but still, I can't help it. I touch my belly and linger my fingers there.

"You really want to ruin my life do you?"

At this point, I'm completely weak and exhausted. This is too much for me. I can't take all of this stress. I'm only 17, well almost 18. I'm too young for this...

Ugh, I get up from the bathroom floor and go lay down on my bed. I really want to sleep now and pretend this was only a really bad dream. I badly hope it is but deep down I know it isn't.

After thinking too much again, I finally fall asleep on my bed without any blankets on me. This way I don't have to think about anything.

——————-

Unfortunately, it really wasn't a dream. I really am...yeah...that...It's the next day already and I truly don't know what to do.

I'm hesitating on telling Nathan now or just never, about me being pregnant with his child.

Unfortunately, it's not like I can hide it from him for a long time because eventually my bump is gonna start to be visible and will only get so much bigger. It'll be impossible to hide it from him until we graduate.

By then if I counted well I'll be close to 26 weeks pregnant. Hmm, maybe I could hide it from him? Nah, it'll be too hot to wear baggy clothes. I can't afford that.

Yeah, I thought about it overnight and realized that I can't abort this baby. Come on I can't kill such a thing, it wasn't its fault if I'm in this situation. It doesn't deserve to be killed because I messed up badly.

I know that by making this choice I'm taking a huge responsibility but I think I'll be able to support it. Sure I'm too young for this but I think I'll manage.