Our complicated love story

Ch.3.3 The harsh reality

The harsh reality
Ch.3.3

Theo's pov

I didn't sleep properly last night. After everything that happened, I'd say it was quite... a long night.

After my friends left, my mom refused to talk to me, refused. I thought she would've been a bit more supportive but I can't really blame her. Who wants to be told that their 18-year-old teenager is pregnant on their birthday? Well...basically no one.

I never even told her I was gay so that was definitely a huge blow to her. Maybe deep down she knew but I don't know what's on her mind.

I feel really bad about yesterday, guilty even. I should've known that my friends could've heard me.

Now I'm screwed but I'm grateful for Brooke still supporting me even if she doesn't agree with everything I did.

Then there's also Kean whom I don't know all that well. I'm really lucky that I have 3 wonderful friends who support me even in the toughest times. Well...not so lucky on one but hey, I gotta try to be more positive from now on.

Everything went wrong yesterday but I can't bear to be any more negative or stressed. It's not good for the life inside of me. I basically cried all night long. I really don't want to go to school but I'll have to either way.

There's also something else that I found out a few minutes ago when I woke up. I noticed that Pamela...well she posted that video she took at my birthday party, the one where I told everything to my mom. Even if my mom told her to delete it she still did it nonetheless.

I feel betrayed by her, I knew she was annoying sometimes but I didn't know she had it in her to destroy basically my whole life. The worst part is the comments.

Most people don't believe her, but they are mostly disgusted, some of them calling me a fag and like they can't believe they liked me.

My whole life is ruined for sure...Everyone liked me that I know of but not anymore...Not with that news.

Honestly, it doesn't bother me that much. I don't like the thought that no one likes
me anymore but I come first after all. Through, I'd rather have a few close friends like I have now than the whole school.

This, I've been trying to calm myself down and try to eliminate those comments from my mind or else I won't be able to go to school.

This is horrible! This basically means the whole school knows now! The teachers what will they think about it?! The rest of the school how will they act around me?! They won't be as nice as before...

Worst of them all...what will Nathan think about it? Wait...no Nathan! Oh crap...I ruined everything for him. This must be nearly as bad for him as it is for me. He still hasn't come out of the closet...oh no...

Why did I have to use my stupid mouth yesterday?! Oh, shoot! I'm in some serious trouble.

Nobody was supposed to know I had a thing going on with the same guy I hated Nathan!

Ugh, what will I do now? I'm pretty sure he wanted this to stay hidden. He never said anything concerning his sexuality but still...

As much as I hate to say this it's over between us...even if it's over...it doesn't mean that he wanted to tell people about him being gay and whatnot. Hell, he never confirmed that he was gay in the first place.

It breaks my heart to think that he might've played my feelings but...I don't want to believe that...I refuse to believe that! It felt real...what we had together.

Even if it was only brief it felt like it lasted for an eternity. I miss him...Yes, I miss my enemy.

I wished he would be here to help me go through this but...he doesn't want to do anything with those responsibilities. That's literally one of the reasons why it ended between us. He couldn't bear to take responsibility for me and...even less of a baby.