𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐄𝐧𝐞𝐦𝐲'𝐬 𝐇𝐮𝐬𝐛𝐚𝐧𝐝 || 敵の旦那様 (𝐁𝐋) ✔ [COMPLETE]

32. Unapologetic

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Fu Lin froze, thunderstruck.

What the General uttered was nothing more than a warm whisper, but it fell across his ears loud and clear. His face overshadowed by the bed curtains and expression hidden, Fu Lin couldn't fathom what was going on. Even the General's eyes were downcast as he held Fu Lin's face with the slightest of touches and spoke hoarsely again.

"I did not help you at the expense of my life, but you could have lost your life back then." "Indeed," Fu Lin said rather dumbfounded, "But I do not wish to owe anybody anything."

"And your wish is the only one of significance?!" The General's sudden roar caught Fu Lin off guard. "What about my wishes? I..."

General Haoran's palms that teetered at the edges of Fu Lin's face, glided down, brushing past the curling locks of tiny hair- and landed across his protruding shoulders. Fu Lin didn't expect the sudden pain that shot over his shoulders as Haoran held onto them with the utmost strength and muttering lightly.

"...I do not wish for you to get hurt."

Fu Lin was visibly frightened by the impactful iron grip with which the General had imprisoned him to the spot and had for the umpteenth time the immediate urge to shove his face away, dashing away to a place where he'd be ten feet away from the General.

But the desperation and pain in his voice made him stay.

So much so that Fu Lin subconsciously moved his own hands to almost touch the General's arm but was suddenly alarmed by the fatal possibility of having himself hung for the audacity of touching the Imperial General without permission. Hence, he dropped his hand down, balled them and opened his mouth to ask a question that's been burning within him for quite a while.

"You saved me from the fire too, " Fu Lin raised a tiny finger to point at a burn scar on General Haoran's face "And risked your life to do that. Why... did you do that?"

"It was my duty to do so."

Fu Lin looked away, slightly flattered. This was the kind of man General Haoran was... He had known all along. Duty and devotion were the crux of his very being and every action of his was dictated by them alone and yet... He'd assumed that maybe there was something more beyond an obligation when the General kept enquiring why he saved him from the assassin. The beginnings of thoughts and fleeting notions of 'maybe the General wants to know whether I actually cared about him' sprung up in his mind more than once. He dismissed the idea as nonsense at the beginning, but the General's persistent questioning gave him some hope.

And his question of why the General saved him from the fires was a question meant to testify his suspicion.

But it seems the General hardly harbours any affection towards him beyond a duty.

His sense of guilt and the anguish questioning he had badgered Fu Lin with and... even the desperate face he seems to be making right now is probably due to his duty as a General. He was probably ashamed, hurt and regretful about how he required saving from a civilian and also got a civilian- that is himself- hurt in the process.

And the fact that he hates or harbours affection for Fu Lin doesn't have anything to do with this.

He's simply upset that he failed as a protector of common folk and got a person harmed. He'd feel the same even if the person was someone he absolutely hated.

And even if that someone was Fu Lin.

But what Fu Lin did not know was that it was precisely because the General absolutely did not hate him that he seemed so helpless. He would not grovel and worry over the injury of every passing person who tried to save him, but that was also where all the differences between Fu Lin and everybody else came.

Nobody else would think that he required saving.

His subordinates would throw themselves in front of him if they were on the battlefield and in their military uniform- and it would only ever be due to their immovable sense of duty or due to the years of friendship between them. He wasn't sure anybody other than Fu Lin would go out of their way to rescue somebody as capable as he was because of their own sense of propriety.

Nobody out there was upright enough to lay their lives on the line foolishly because of their own conviction of owing a life debt when it was clearly his duty to protect people.

His eyes darkened when he saw the hesitance in Fu Lin's actions to touch him. Especially when it concerns somebody who's hated by the saviour, like he was to Fu Lin.

He knew... He knew that Fu Lin harboured no regard for him. His grip on Fu Lin's shoulders tightened unconsciously when he realised how he could not attain this man's affection or good feelings for himself. As the pressure on the shoulder blades kept increasing, Fu Lin winced at the weight of the General's palm and the General, lost in his own stream of thoughts all this time, was brought back to reality. He shot up like he was struck by lightning, letting go of Fu Lin, and stared at the large hands that were practically bruising his shoulders all this time.

Indeed, he'd hate him. After all, he was the one to wield a sword at his neck.

While he felt guilty for what happened to Fu Lin on his account, he knew why he was feeling so frustrated in actuality. The pain he felt at the sight of Fu Lin getting all battered up because of him was an indication of his affection. With each beat of pain, came thrice the realisation of how much he cared for Fu Lin. This beat of care gave birth to ten times the amount of pain at the thought that Fu Lin did not give a damn about how much he cared.

But he couldn't blame Fu Lin for hating him. And he couldn't regret the choice he made at the royal court either- if he could go back, he'd still do the same.

He'd press his blade against Fu Lin. And Fu Lin would end up hating him.

A second passed. And another. The General stood looming above Fu Lin, his eyes immovable and face impassive and his heart overcome by irrepressible turmoil. He balled his fists, clenched his jaw and took one step back to walk away, but turned right back, his fingers pressing Fu Lin onto the bed in the blink of an eye.

Fu Lin's eyes widened as he stared at the General's dishevelled appearance in front of him, warm puffs of air releasing by second between the narrow space of their faces and the General meeting his own gaze with eyes glazed over.

"G-General?"

The General didn't reply and instead trailed his large finger down the pale jugular of Fu Lin, the roughness of his palm itching against the softness. "My apologies about this" He tapped at the slight scratch on his neck and slowly snaked his hand towards the small of Fu Lin's back, his fingers trailing and tracing a bluish spot behind as he said "My apologies about this too."

Fu Lin, who felt less bewildered by the fact that he was simply recounting the injuries, relaxed a little.

The General moved back a little, his body shifting down low to hold Fu Lin's injured foot in his hand as he watched Fu Lin, his eyes half-lidded and blazing as he said, "My apologies about this too." Then he moved over and stood above Fu Lin, gazing directly at him as his hands played with the bandages wrapped around Fu Lin's neck, every touch painfully aware as he said,

"I shall not apologise for this."

Saying so, he got up immediately and walked over to the door. What he proclaimed was the absolute truth and there was no denying it- he couldn't regret what he did to Fu Lin at the court, nor will he apologise. He wanted Fu Lin to know this, to know that he wouldn't apologise to him so that Fu Lin would act hostile towards him- maybe cuss him out even. Then maybe overtime he too... could forget these feelings of friendliness...

"I didn't ask you to apologise for that, did I?"

Stunned, General Haoran turned his head back in one single beat. There on the bed, Fu Lin was seated upright, his hair flailing about and a wide smile on his face- his usually stupid-looking

face now looking serene. General Haoran, unable to resist the question that had been haunting him for so long, asked,

"Do you hate me?"

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Fu Lin: Who is diss??? MOMMMM 

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