35: Forever

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"Well, that's what happened, I don't know what to do.." I said, looking at the man across from me.

Wilbur, sitting on the floor against one of the train poles that people would hold onto. Our guitars lay forgotten next to us and I leaning against one of the seats.

"Do? It's not like anything big happened, you can't die, you won't be sent to one of these purgatories.." He answered with a calm voice, looking at the ceiling completely uninterested in the conversation.

"It still feels like something big, my first death, I felt it all, I felt my skin bubbling and the burning of my entire body." I responded.

He looked at me, pondering for a second before responding, "What does it even matter? You go back, and you smell fresh air, and you see everyone again."

A small frown appeared on his face as he continued, "There's no point, you'll go back, and go and die, then go back again and again, that's your purgatory."

He leveled his gaze at me, "Just like me, it, will, never, end. And you'll see everyone die, but you'll be there living, over and over again."

"But that's one way of looking at it, why put effort into something if it's going to die anyways?" He leaned back again and looked at the ceiling.

With a pit in my stomach I got up, this conversation wasn't going anywhere, why'd I even bother to get an opinion anyways.

Wilbur looked up at me, "Oh you're leaving? And let me guess, you can't take me with you, or you'll try and get me another gift, or you'll tell me about how they all are? Well save it, I've been on these tracks long enough to know already."

I stepped out without a word, closing the rift behind me and taking a deep breath.

Something was wrong with Wilbur, I knew it before, but it had gotten worse..

The downsides of time.

It didn't even solve the problem I had when I went in there. What's the point of crossing dimensions if I couldn't even get some advice once in a while.

Maybe I should've been nicer about it. I was the only face he barely saw, and I didn't even show my face.

I sighed, putting my hands in my pockets, could I just walk in and act like nothing happened? Everything would be different now. I could tell them it was my first life lost, then they'd just think everything was fine and I had two left.

Or I could tell them the truth.

Hah

As if I'd ever do that.

They wouldn't even care would they? Just a random dude. I could run away and never show up again.

With what Wilbur said... gods he was a broken soul.

And he just kept shattering and shattering.

But I couldn't get it out of my mind.

I was forever.. almost everyone else... not.

How did Phil live like this?

How did the others? Was it better to not mingle with everyone else? To watch from a distance?

Why did I even want to interact in the first place? I couldn't remember.

The grass is always greener on the other side.

That's it.

I'd go inside, and say I needed a walk, and apologize to the kid, and then we'd eat dinner, and head to bed or something.

Yeah, everything would be fine.

I walked in, and everything was in fact, not fine. At first I thought no one was home, but the loud sniffles coming from upstairs gave me a hint.

There I saw Techno, looking pathetic and awkwardly giving Tommy pats on the back, when the kid just latched onto him bawling.

Full on snot everywhere crying.

I was somewhere between heart-warmed, and disgusted. For one, Aw, he cared. For two, ew,  he was messing up all of Techno's clothes.

Techno raised his head at my entering and mouthed to me the words, 'Help me'

Oh I really wanted to abandon him and just leave him there.

So first, I took out my communicator, and snapped a photo of Technoblade's pleading face and sent it off to Phil.

He'd have a laugh at that one.

Secondly, At Techno's exasperated face, I walked over and crouched next to Tommy, waiting for him to calm down and see I was alive.

He eventually did, after looking up at Techno and blowing his nose into the blood red cape Techno wore, but he did, and his face turned into pure elation.

He then turned completely angry, he shoved himself off of Techno and started screaming, "BITCH I thought you were dead! Why would you do that to me!"

I sat on the floor, "Give me a break, I'm the one who died."

Techno interjected as he was in the process of taking his snot covered clothes off, "Wait what happened-"

"You just left! Do you know what I thought when your body wasn't here?! I thought you'd actually died!" Tommy interrupted, pulling his legs up to his body and tucking them up. Like a kid who needed comfort, and I guess in this situation, as a kid needing comfort.

I scooted over to him and rubbed his back, "I needed a walk, dying can be a lot.."

Techno tried to ask again, "What happened when you guys were out-"

But Tommy interrupted again in a low voice, "It can be... Are you ok?"

All colour drained from my face, what had happened to this kid? Why would he know about the feeling of death, what did he have to go through.

Feeling me freeze, he looked up, "I'm sorry, it was an accident and I-"

"No," I interrupted, Tommy looked vivid before I continued, "No apologizing, it was obviously an accident and I'm here aren't I?"

He started stammering, a couple loose tears falling out of his eyes, "B-but I took one of your lives and I-"

Techno straightened up, now only in his white dress shirt and black pants instead of his usual jacket and such, "You died!?"

Once again ignoring the angry pig, "It was an accident, it doesn't matter, let's talk more in the morning? For now I'm really tired and-"

Techno yelled out, "Is anyone going to explain anything?!"

All I did was take my cloak off and fall flat first on my couch. I was out in seconds.

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