Chapter 23

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Y/n's pov: 

I already read the new statement from the palace, they didn't give it to me but I just search about it, they literally did it the same day the rumor started to lessen the damage it will cause. So far as I'm walking in the palace people doesn't seem suspicious about what's happening, just some other people outside the palace. 

The statement said that they talked with Hyunjin and Kim and they're actually there for, you guess it right! for the charity of Hyunjin's grandparents, even though it's already done. They're known to be close friend that's why holding hands and hugs were actually in a friendly manner because both of them is already have someone in their mind. I don't know if people is gonna buy it. 

I didn't dare to read the rest of it.

I still didn't understand why all of a sudden, keep on repeating that Hyunjin doesn't even talk to me again. He's really been confusing me all these time, but despite of that my feelings for him is growing deeper as days goes by. 

"Ouch!" Minho flick my forehead when he finally went back from getting the book he's been searching here in the library. 

"you're spacing out again, is everything alright?" he sit infront of me and fix the books he got, I just rub my forehead.

"yeah..-" yn

"if it's about Kim and Hyunjin then you're not really alright" he added as he stop stacking the books and look at me, I just sighed.

"do you want to talk about it?" he said again then continue what he's doing

"maybe?" I chuckle after saying that 

"wanna go to the garden?"- Minho

I nodded at him then we both started heading out in the library and went to the garden. I've been carrying all of these since the beginning, it's suffocating and it's uncomfortable. When we reach the garden where we usually hangs out we both sit on the bench.

*silence..

he's not saying anything and just waiting for me to begin what I wanted to share to him. I don't feel any awkwardness right now, I'm just trying to gather all my thoughts so my story will not go circling. 

"it's about me and Hyunjin" he look at me now that I'm starting talking, I just decided to stare infront of me.

"our marriage..this is my first time I going to open up this to someone, this is just for us alright..I just needed a friend right now" I said to him making sure that nothing will go out in this conversation

"Trust me" he sincerely look at my eyes and I smile at him.

"e-ever since I got into our marriage, I thought everything will just be fine, but suddenly I didn't know why but he's been giving me mix signals. Do you know that I tried to hide away from all  the sadness and pain but little did I know that haha..I'm actually was going insane and confused about everything when it comes to him" my heart is aching right now, I'm not going to reveal to him that this was all arrange marriage as much as possible.

"I-I have a deep feelings for him..this is my first time I finally felt that I'm able to move forward in my life and let myself keep on falling--" -yn

"you love him"- minho

"ye-yeah..it just really hurts and I don't understand how everything feels so wrong and there are times it feels so right. I felt like I'm going crazy, my emotions and feelings are going back and forth, sometimes I don't even know if there's really a direction..felt like I'm alone in our relationship, it's a one sided at this point" I tried my hardest not to let even a single tear get out from my eyes, not today. 

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