No love for Louisa

SIX

Louisa's  only knowledge of  Adrian's older brother, Alexander  Carstairs, had all came from what Rosemary had spoken about him. It had  led her to believe he was a serious stuffy future Duke, who had been jilted at the alter by his bride, because he cared more about his charity works than her.

So, when Alexander made an appearance at the Ball, she found she was a little taken aback that he looked far less stuffy  and severe as Rosemary had painted him.  In fact,  she realised he was not even that much older than herself, when she had imagined him grey haired.  Of course his arrival had caused something of a stir, which he seemed to ignore with equanimity. But being of such noble birth she supposed it came as second nature to him.

  In one way, she had been glad, because it had meant that  no one was paying her any attention any more. But then  this was followed with a sense of guilt that she should be glad of someone else' discomfort of the gossiping tongues, and how hard it must have been for him to show his face, and remain as if it didn't bother him. She understood the feeling herself only too well and felt more empathetic towards him. 

When Adrian had finally brought his brother over to introduce him to Rosemary, Louisa found herself further studying Alexander Carstairs up close, In doing so, she realised that whilst Adrian took after his Mother in looks, his older brother reminded her more of his father. His face was thinner and his stature taller, and he held himself with an air of confidence, his dark hair was much shorter than his brother's, and his eyes a different shade of green with brown flecks in them.   

He had barely paid her any further attention, that was until Rosemary had unfortunately blurted out the whole orphanage business, which had made poor Louisa want to sink into the floor in humiliation. But thankfully, he had made light of the whole thing, and had quickly changed the subject, for which she was grateful. She found herself deciding that Alexander Carstairs was quite as stuffy and serious as Rosemary painted him.  

It was only after Rosemary came back from dancing with Adrian, that she had begged Louisa's forgiveness for her gaffe, claiming her nerves got the better of her, having to converse with Alex. She hadn't  really thought before speaking, only  that she had been desperate to talk about a subject, other than Alex being jilted at the alter, which had been constantly on her mind at the time.

Louisa had then assured her cousin she was forgiven, much to Rosemary's relief. But then she ruined the moment by adding somewhat blithely "Besides,  its not like your background is a great secret, so I was not revealing anything that was not already known," which had  only then served to remind Louisa of the gossiping tongues around her,, and that she could not dispute what Rosemary said. So  she found little comfort in the remark her cousin had made, in an attempt to soothe her own conscience for saying the wrong thing in the first place.

 Louisa was suddenly wishing the night would end. It was getting uncomfortably hot in the room as it became even more crowded. So, she was grateful when Hettie, who was feeling rather  overheated herself, suggested they take a  short walk about in the garden area.  Rosemary was already  occupied  in the company of Beth, who had just introduced her to  a French Count.  Having never met any men from a foreign country, Rosemary was fascinated hearing him talk about his home. so did not want to go anywhere,  in the end it was just Louisa who accompanied Hettie.

Louisa was never so glad to breath in the cool night air when they finally stepped outside. There were plenty of others milling about the gardens, but thankfully the chattering voices were not so loud and overbearing.

"I must say my dear, you have  held yourself up well tonight, despite your cousins little faux pas"  Hettie said in an approving tone

"I am glad to hear it Ma'am, I have been trying to practice all that you told me, to show that I am now  respectably bred. But  do you think it will help me find a position with a respected family as a Governess or a lady's companion,  after all, that is my aim in being here as well" she reminded her with tad anxiousness.