On the Outskirts

Fourteen

~Ryder~

The very second she turned the key in the door to lock it, dropping the keys into a bowl on the side table a few feet away, I spun her around, pushing her back up against the door and gripped either side of her chin between my fore finger and thumb, gently tipping her head up to face me. 

"You gotta stop running from this Sunflower." I could feel her heart beat pounding in her chest, see the anxiety and need in her eyes. I've been waiting a month to get her alone like this. A month of trying to carefully edge myself closer and closer and deeper into her mind and life until she decided she was ready to stop this bullshit and let me back in. 

It wasn't even my intention at first. I would've been happy us being friends. Just having her around would've been plenty. But whilst she's been shoving me out and trying to forget we ever happened, I've been remembering it all. Every one of her laughs, every glare, every tip in her voice, everything she's passed onto Hallie and pairing all of that with the memories of us that are almost suffocating. It's impossible for me to not become obsessed with Sadie. I could try, and I did. I tried to just move past it after her dad's kitchen, but I just couldn't. She's imprinted everywhere and I have spent years trying to erase her. 

I lifted her up, hand gripping her thigh as I kissed her again with everything I could. I nipped at her lip until she whimpered into my mouth and I drew the line there. I decided right then that Sadie was mine as much now as she was 12 years ago and there wasn't a damn chance in hell I was going to be dumb enough to let her go this time. 

I laid her down carefully on the edge of her bed, pulling her boots off and tossing them to the floor before moving up to her face and kissing her again, pushing my forehead into hers. 

"I'm not letting you go this time Sadie. I swear. Nothing's taking you from me and if you wanna move back to Montrose or across the country you better know now that I'm following you both." I pushed my hand under her dress, holding onto her hip and pushing her down into the bed. "We can do this how you want, take it easy and keep it from Hal and everyone else if that's what you want. You set the pace, you tell me what you want. If you need more time, you've got it. But I'm not backing down and you need to know that. I'm not backing down Sadie and I am prepared to do anything to make sure you know that I am all in this."  She let out a shaky breath, hands trembling as she reached for my shirt, laying her hands flat on my chest. 

"Tell me what you want Sunflower."  I loop my finger around her underwear and Sadie lifts her hips. "These come off and you're mine Sade. That simple." I pull my head back so I can look her in the eyes, needing her to know I was serious. "If we do this, we do it right. Me and you. No more avoiding me, no more running scared, no more lying. Can you do that?" She blinks. "Do you want to do that?" Sadie stares at me for what feels like forever before giving me one single nod. I keep myself completely still. I need her to be sure because I'm not fucking it up this time. There isn't an end on our future. I've weighed up every single possibility. Hallie's dad coming back, Hallie wanting him in her life, Sadie realizing she loves him. I've laid them all out for myself and I know how I will keep us together because 12 years of missing Sadie is more than enough for a lifetime.  If I get her back now and lose her I don't know if I'd ever recover. 

"I'm sure." Sadie whispers, lifting her head up until her lips are almost against mine. "I'm scared but I'm sure." She kisses me softly, hands pulling my tee-shirt up and over my head, tossing it to the floor before she reaches for my belt. Any and all clothing follows my shirt but I don't give her time to think. I cover her torso in hot kisses, smiling at the way my tongue on the most sensitive parts of her effects her breathing, almost laughing when I come back up and see her face is flushed a dark red, eyes clouded from her first orgasm. She's so fucking pretty it actually hurts my chest.

I kiss up the column of her neck as I line myself up, along her jaw and up to her ear, gently tugging the lobe between my teeth. 

"I need you to scream for me Sunflower." I reach between us, rubbing my thumb over her swollen clit. "I want to hear how sure you are." She nods and the noise she gives me as I slide into her almost does it for me. She's soft and warm and every bit as perfect as she was the last time I had her. I swallow her next moan in a deep kiss, setting my forehead against hers and keeping our eyes locked as I ease myself in and out gently. 

"Fuck, Ryder." I increased my speed, looking for a rhythm that had her nails digging into my skin and her toes curling. "Oh god." 

"Louder Sadie." I moved a hand, wrapping it around her throat as I pushed into her harder this time. Her eyes rolled back and I could feel the way she loved it, her core clenching tight around me. "God Sunflower, you're choking my dick." Sadie whimpered. "You want more?" She nods and I smirk, kissing her forehead before railing her in everyway I'd imagined for years. I watch her squirm and feel her convulse around me. Sweat slides down every inch of our skin but we don't stop and I find a way to keep myself together. Everything inside of me is threatening to to explode but I have to keep it under control. I have to exhaust Sadie before I'd ever be willing to let this end. 

Her screams echo around her room when I take her from behind. My hand hold her hips tighter than I've held anything in my life and I can tell her body is giving up on her. Her knees are giving way and she's exhausted so I make sure this one is going to slaughter any need left in her system. I wrap her long brown hair around my fist, pulling her head back as I drive into her. 

"RYDER!" She screams, gripping the bed sheets much too tight. "Please, oh god, please I'm-I'm" I nod, dropping her hair and continuing to bury myself as deep into her as I possible can and when she goes quiet, body collapsing under her own weight, I give up my own fight, pulling out to coat her back in years worth of regrets and pain. I stare for a second, breathing heavily as I watch her on the bed, completely limp, almost lifeless but her chest is heaving. I head to the bathroom, coming back with tissue to clean her up before pulling us both under the duvet, tucking her into the crook of my arm and holding her tighter than I probably should. 

Sadie looks up at me, face completely flushed and just giggles. A quiet, sleepy giggle that tells me everything I needed to know. She enjoyed it, she can't believe I'm here and I better not be gone in the morning. I kiss her head, drawing circles around the small of her back because I know that puts her to sleep and I wait until I can hear her quiet snores before I let mine close, wrapping myself around her so she can't get out without me knowing before. I'm not letting her go. Not this time.