On the Outskirts

Sixteen

~Sadie~

"You slept with him." 

"I didn't-" 

"You're a terrible liar. You slept with him." 

"Bry-" 

"Sadie." She smirked "Did you sleep with your hot ex boyfriend cowboy?" 

"Maybe a little."

"A LITTLE." 

"Okay. A lot. Like a lot a lot and he came over when I text him that Hal was asleep last night and go I've never done that." I leaned back against the metal fence as Brynn finally closed her car door, walking over to me slowly. "Do you have any idea how good my daughter's hearing is? I'm terrified she's going to hear us talking." 

"Yeah. Talking. That's what you're doing." 

"Last night it was. Doing that with her in the house feels wrong right now. That's what we were talking about. What boundaries we need to set, who we're comfortable knowing about this, which by the way, you are the only person and if you tell my dad or anyone about this I will murder you." 

"Oh don't worry, I am not doing a damn thing to put this at risk for you. I've got too much money on you two getting back together for it to go down the drain." I glared at her. "Oh come on. You knew it was gonna happen Sades. That guy has been worshipping the ground you walk on since we were Hallie's age." 

"Yeah, let's not tell Sadie how we met." 

"What that we were all in detention for being little shits?" 

"Yeah. Exactly." I nod quickly. 

"So, how was it?" 

"How was what?" I turned around, climbing the gate because I knew exactly where this was going. I love Brynn to pieces. I love how our friendship has barely changed and I love that feeling when I'm with her where everything just seems to be drama we can laugh about. Because she does that. She finds a spin to put on anything so that when I'm on the verge of tears, she has me cackling until my sides hurt. 

"Don't play dumb with me Taylor. How was he? Compared to before? The last city boy you slept with? Did he yell out yeehaw as he came?" I spluttered, choking on air. 

"God you're so abrupt." 

"You know you want to answer them though." Brynn jumped the fence, feet landing in the dust on the other side as she looked up at me with a smug smile. Freckles lined her face and arms like they had done every summer as kids, her hair a little sun-bleached. "Come on. Out with it cowgirl." 

"Fine." I huffed, jumping over to join her. "Last guy I slept with was done after 30 seconds then got a call from his fucking wife and left before I'd even sat up. Guy before that literally prodded my stretch marks from Hal and said they were gross. Guy before that was Hallie's dad and as much as the guy got me there, it was pretty boring. So all around, pretty shitty experiences in the bedroom." 

"But?" 

"But, can't say Ryder has ever been one to disappoint." She grinned. "He just knows what he needs to do and what too say and -" 

"Please tell me the guy got the job done." 

"So many times I lost count. I literally couldn't breath." Brynn chuckled and tossed her arm over my shoulder. 

"So you're not telling Hallie?" I sighed, kicking rocks under foot as we walked through the field at the very back of Dad's land. Today's job was checking over the fences of the next piece of land the cows would be moved to which is a long trek but with Brynn it would be over in a flash. 

"No." 

"Why not? I mean they seem to get on well enough. It's not like she's gonna hate him." 

"It's complicated." 

"Why?" 

"Hal can be pretty protective believe it or not. She's such a worrier about everything and feels things a lot deeper than normal kids do. I'm worried that, especially with her asking about her dad lately, that she's going to get so used to me seeing Ryder that when he realizes being a dad to someone elses kid isn't for him and he wants to leave it's going to break her heart as well as breaking mine. I barely got through him leaving before Brynn. How am I supposed to get through it when Hallie is broken too? I know he's said he's thought it all through and that he has no intention of ever leaving us, he knows we're a package deal and he thinks Hallie is an amazing kid with the biggest heart." 

"So you're more worried about this hurting her than it hurting you?" I nod my head slowly. 

"It's a huge decision and if I'm going to bring a guy into both of our lives I need him to be 1000% sure that it's what he wants. The highs and the lows and the sickness bugs, the fights, the attitude, the exhaustion. All of it. It's all well and good saying you want it when you don't know what being a parent is actually like behind closed doors because it's damn hard work. If he spends a year watching me and trying to help me through it all and at the end is like yeah I definitely want this, then maybe it'll be time to slowly introduce her to the idea. But until then-" 

"You want to make sure you two are stable first." 

"Exactly. See if he's more reliable than he was. If he can really do all these things he's said he's gonna. If he's right for us both." Brynn nodded slowly in understanding. "A hell of a lot has changed for me in 12 years Brynn. I'm not free, I'm not able to take the risks I could then. I've got priorities that aren't him and him alone. In fact, he's probably at the bottom of my list right now and it's gonna stay that way for a little while." 

"No, that's understandable. He does still have to make up for leaving you in the first place." 

"Yeah," I took a slow breath, straightening my shoulders. "Anyway, Hal got her school acceptance through today. I haven't told her she's going back to proper school yet though." 

"It'll be good for her Sades. You're doing the right thing." 

"I know. She's gonna have friends there now too. I'm thinking of putting her on the bus for after school. Dropping her off in a morning and her getting off the bus at the end of the drive up to the ranch because I'm more likely to be working than at home. I think she's old enough to do that walk now. It's not like it's dangerous." 

"We were riding our bikes out of town at her age." 

"Yeah and I also remember being a nightmare when we were." 

"Oh my god, the worse we did was egg Sarah's place when she called you a hillbilly." I laughed, remembering her face when she stuck her head out the door and one hit her on the head. 

"We got in so much trouble for that." 

"Still didn't stop us doing it again though." 

"And that is exactly why Hallie will not be riding her bike around town." 

"Pft. She's your daughter through and through. She'll find a way to egg her enemies house. I might just drive her."