Secret Life Of A Second Wife

Slowly slowly.

I am not proud to admit that I haven't been the best of muslim's my entire life. Yes I would read my salaah, make bismillah before I ate and keep all my fasts every ramadaan...But I never did more than (I thought) I had to.

Alhamdullilah, as of lately, I can feel my imaan increasing more and more. It is sad but true that only when we are going through a hard time that we remember and turn to Allah. On the other hand, I am glad that even though it took something as hard as this, my difficulty has brought me closer to him.

I find myself waking up for Fajr, reading my tasbeeh throughout the day and (slowly slowly) dressing more modestly and often covering my hair.

These are tiny (but not insignificant) changes that I am trying to implement in my daily life. We are always told that our actions are judged by our intentions... And my intention is simply to attempt to be a better muslim (and inshaa allah the best wife to Ridwaan). I believe that to try is a form of supplication. I'm not promising that my way of life will change overnight but I am hoping that by giving more of myself to Him, that He will help me become the person I need to be to continue on my journey.

I have already seen the difference in the way I think and feel and I no longer want or need the same things I use to... my patience and persistence has gradually increased over the past few weeks... And shukr I find it so much easier to breathe now that I have a little peace in my heart.