Secret Life Of A Second Wife

Every story, has sides.

It’s hard to say what happened exactly. For the most part it depends on who you ask. People will always assume the worst, especially when it comes to a situation like ours. There are as many sides to a story as there are pairs of eyes.

Ridwaan and I have tried to be as discreet as possible about our relationship. But it became harder to hide as our feelings got stronger for eachother. And I’d like to think that the people who have noticed, have kept their opinion to themselves… However that’s wishful thinking for the small town we grew up in.

I’ve heard the most horrible things, about myself, about him. Lies that have manifested from mouths that have done more wrong than right. The audacity some people have to point fingers at you when their lives are far from perfect… it enrages me.

Don’t judge someone just because they sin differently than you!

For as long as I can remember it’s been that way though; people are quick to blame and even quicker to make up assumptions that are far from the truth.

I’ve heard whispers and jokes of me being Ridwaan’s pre mid life crisis, the girl who wants to break up his home and his family, a trophy wife and most commonly, his ‘Mistress’.

These are words that have come from the people we call our ‘friends’, from the family members that don’t understand… and from the society that won’t accept.

I would be lying to you if I told you it didn’t hurt to hear the rumours, that I didn’t cry myself to sleep, nights on end, because my heart was slowly breaking. I am a person who believes in people… I always look for the best in a situation even when all things point at the worst. Unfortunately I have not been lucky enough to receive the same treatment.

As muslims we know that Allah hears and sees all things, that He alone is the best of judges. I strongly believe that my intentions (aswell as Ridwaan’s) can only be acknowledged by Him. And I find so much comfort in knowing that if we bow down to Him then we can stand up to anything.

It is immoral for a person to accuse anyone else of something wrong except with full knowledge and tangible proof. It is forbidden to base a judgment against someone on hearsay, conjecture or suspicion.

Allah says: “O you who believe! If a wicked person comes to you with any news, ascertain the truth, lest you harm people unwittingly, and afterwards become full of repentance for what you have done.” [Sûrah al-Hujurât: 5]

He also says: “O you who believe! stand out firmly for Allah, as witnesses to fair dealing, and let not the hatred of any people make you swerve to wrong and depart from justice. Be just: that is next to piety: and fear Allah. For Allah is well-acquainted with all that you do. ” [Sûrah al-Mâ’idah: 8]

There was a time that the comments and remarks had put a strain on Ridwaan and i… But now, when we look back to when all the gossip started, we look past the blame and outrage … We remember why we’re doing this and what we will accomplish by never faltering in our love for eachother or in what we believe is right. We try to piece it together; to offer words of comfort when we feel hurt or to stand up for eachother when the other is put down or disgraced. It’s all a matter of will. An uphill battle that we’ve vowed to climb together and a lifetime of change that we wish to see in the world.