26

8K 236 13
                                    

26

It's hard to describe what I'm feeling. I guess I could say it's like floating on a cloud. I want to do it, but at the same time I know it's dangerous. I'm just going to have to trust him to not let me fall, to get hurt.

"What made things change?" Chris asks, his voice muffled a little from his mouth being on the top of my head.

We pull apart and I look in his eyes, "I don't know," I say. "I think I have for a while, I just finally realized it."

A small laugh escapes him. "You aren't the best at showing it."

I frown, "And you are?"

"I guess your right," he shrugs and I smile. He is the king of mistakes.

I look at the time, it's 3 in the afternoon. Was I really talking that long? The strange thing is, I'm not even hungry. My stomach is so full of butterflies to care.

"Is he coming back?" I ask. That question has been sitting in the back of my mind.

Chris's face darkens, "For his sake, he better not."

"No," I say. He looks at me confused. "Matt can stay, I need someone to run with. I just won't talk to him anymore. I'll act like it's you and me."

"But it can be, you and me," he says. "All I have to do is threaten to have Jonathan come over and he'll be in China before I could say Timbuktu."

"But don't we have forever to be alone together?" I ask. It feels weird hearing that leave my mouth. It doesn't exactly taste right.

"Yes but... Never mind. He can stay, but I want him gone after the wedding."

I only paid attention to the first two words he said. "But what?"

"No, it's a stupid thought for now. I shouldn't have said anything," he says uncomfortably, shifting positions. He looks away from me.

I touch is hand, forcing him to look me in the eyes. "Chris, please tell me. I won't be mad or anything, I promise."

He sighs, it's like I've got Chris on a leash. I know he's going to tell me. "Ok, it just might not always only be me and you."

"What do you mean?" I ask confused. Is he going to kidnap more girls?

"I think you know what I mean."

"You mean take other girls?" I squeak. No one else deserves to be taken sneak lose everything like I have. Not even the most wicked of people.

"What?" He says quickly, "It's only you, you're all I ever wanted." When it becomes obvious that I have no clue what he's talking about, he says, "You know, they're made from love." It clicks.

"Oh," I say instantly regretting prying. "You mean kids."

"Yes," he doesn't seem so uncomfortable anymore. "Haven't you ever thought about that?"

"No," I say honestly. "It kind of scares me." There are many reasons, one being how kids happens. The thought of doing it has actually kind of scared me. I'm barely comfortable kissing guys, let alone doing more.

Another reason is the thought of having someone grow inside me. I don't only have to take care of myself, but another little someone as well, and right now I can barely take care of myself. It's always been foreign idea to me, I've always said I'm not having kids till I'm at least 30 and married, so of course I haven't thought about them.

Kids with Chris? That never crossed my mind. I'm worried that they would make Chris's same mistakes. The more I think about it, the worse it gets.

"Scary? Don't you want kids?" He sounds almost heartbroken. "I've always wanted kids."

Stolen LoveOpowieści tętniące życiem. Odkryj je teraz