The Dumped Club

4- Hopeless Febland

 "Hope get up! You're going to be late!"

My eyes snapped awake at the sound of Mum's passive voice before I realised what had happened last night. The many things that had happened last night.

"Mum, I really don't feel well. Please can I stay home today?"

"Hope come on! I understand you might feel a little tired and overwhelmed but I can't leave you alone for the whole day. I also need you to pick up Martin after school. Come on, love, please get dressed. Why are you on the sofa?"

"I fell asleep after coming back from the back yard. I'm really tired and my head hurts. Please?"

"I'll speak to the nurse but you need to go to school."

Giving her an annoyed sigh, I got up from the sofa and locked myself in the bathroom. Amy was getting dressed and was silent when I entered our room. Both of us had puffy eyes but I still decided to tell her about Jarrett because I wanted to talk to someone.

"Jarrett broke up with me by text last night and Mum won't let me miss school today," I mumbled, keeping my head down as I pull up my socks. I heard her suck in a breath.

"That douchebag! Is he the reason you don't want to go to school?"

Partly. I didn't know, I just didn't want to go there. I shrugged and grabbed my bag.

I had a little cry while walking to school as well, but I made sure that no one could see me. It felt like all the energy had seeped out of my heart and now there's only the bittersweet black ink. The black ink was the misery and the pain that would plague my heart for days.

Jeez, I don't know why my drama teacher gave me an average grade at the end of Year 8, I dramatised situations so much that my brain could film a soap opera.

Avoiding the entrance where most people hung out before school, I rushed to the library and took the computer in the corner. Pen&Paper wasn't a blocked website because they had a feature for students so I logged into my account. I had a few comments on my latest, terrible poem but I decided to not look at them and just write a new poem. The newest comments had been quite hateful, saying that my poetry was terrible and that I didn't update enough, even though I excused myself.

Rabbit-hole

I stand on the brink

of the rabbit hole.

It feels like I've had too much to drink

because I can feel his soul

being added to my whole.

I can see a Wonderland

full of chances

If only life can stop whipping me with the lances

then I would pursue without

Caution

And then I fall, fall, fall.

My hands are no longer gripping

the real world

I was no longer tripping

If I could change this, I would.

I feel alive again